tonight I sat and relaxed for a bit, enjoying wine, salads, steaks and seafood with my sister, her college roommate (who's like another little sister to me), and my friend A.
conversation turned to weddings and honeymoons and wedding dresses and babies. my eyes must have glazed over at some point. someone noticed. and soon the conversation turned to my being single and what I was doing about not being so.
wait. I'd rather talk about the beautiful wedding dress A just tried on. or how my sister and her husband so badly want a kid. or how my "other little sister" doesn't want kids, ever.
but, instead, I hear stories of how so-and-so met online, or how ms. thing met her now boyfriend on a blind date. and get questions about what I'm doing to meet new guys. more of the happily-coupled thing.
well, girls, let's see I worked nearly two weeks worth in one last week, found a little time to hang out with friends and TheDog, tried to get some training in and slept a few hours. no, I wasn't out and about meeting guys. it's just not a priority for me right now.
the talk turns to prospects. the only one I can think of is A's friend W. my sister(s) try to tell A that she should set me up with him. but I agree with A, it's too weird for her. he's one of her good friends and if things got weird it would be tough for her. I don't want to put her in that position. she does help us to hang out together, and I'd try to get my game on to flirt with him, but he renders me flirtless.
I'm not funny when he's around, I'm not witty, and I've certainly got no game.
I do that. I get tongue-tied and nervous when there's a guy I really like. I'm relatively talkative and outgoing most of the time. but every once in a while I meet a guy that I think would be so absolutely perfect for me that I become too nervous to let my fabulousness shine through. (perhaps another reason I'm single.)
I know I need to work on that. and work on finding more prospects. but I have no idea how to become less nervous around the guys I truly like or a clue as to where to begin looking for prospects.
but perhaps I need to make the looking a priority... if I only knew where to look.