brief snapshots in time. memories and thoughts. disorganized and random.

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

days of wine and crushes

tonight I sat and relaxed for a bit, enjoying wine, salads, steaks and seafood with my sister, her college roommate (who's like another little sister to me), and my friend A.

conversation turned to weddings and honeymoons and wedding dresses and babies. my eyes must have glazed over at some point. someone noticed. and soon the conversation turned to my being single and what I was doing about not being so.

wait. I'd rather talk about the beautiful wedding dress A just tried on. or how my sister and her husband so badly want a kid. or how my "other little sister" doesn't want kids, ever.

but, instead, I hear stories of how so-and-so met online, or how ms. thing met her now boyfriend on a blind date. and get questions about what I'm doing to meet new guys. more of the happily-coupled thing.

well, girls, let's see I worked nearly two weeks worth in one last week, found a little time to hang out with friends and TheDog, tried to get some training in and slept a few hours. no, I wasn't out and about meeting guys. it's just not a priority for me right now.

the talk turns to prospects. the only one I can think of is A's friend W. my sister(s) try to tell A that she should set me up with him. but I agree with A, it's too weird for her. he's one of her good friends and if things got weird it would be tough for her. I don't want to put her in that position. she does help us to hang out together, and I'd try to get my game on to flirt with him, but he renders me flirtless.

I'm not funny when he's around, I'm not witty, and I've certainly got no game.

I do that. I get tongue-tied and nervous when there's a guy I really like. I'm relatively talkative and outgoing most of the time. but every once in a while I meet a guy that I think would be so absolutely perfect for me that I become too nervous to let my fabulousness shine through. (perhaps another reason I'm single.)

I know I need to work on that. and work on finding more prospects. but I have no idea how to become less nervous around the guys I truly like or a clue as to where to begin looking for prospects.

but perhaps I need to make the looking a priority... if I only knew where to look.


Brian Lavery said...

Too bad you don't live in Vancouver. ha ha
You're smart, athletic, interesting and even have a great dog! What a catch.

Yoda said...

I have adopted a Zen approach: I am looking/not-looking.

I am available, and willing. Open to possibilities. Thus, I am looking.

I am not expending any effort in the search. Thus, I am not-looking.

This approach has proven no more or less effective than the frantic Internet-based, gotta-have-it-now quest I was on a year ago.

But I am happier, and more at peace in my singleness.


sally said...

I just saw that Kurt likes Glenn Miller and Jane Austen...look no's a catch!

GlitterGlamGirl05 said...

Yoda brings up a good point - it's when you aren't looking when you bump into that least that's what happened to me before.

Rainypete said...

I wouldn't let the search own your life. I met my dream girl by accident while on the hunt. We were friends and as such I never considered her as an option. Don't ignore all in the quest for one.

Time will bring you to someone you belong with, god knows I had a few nuts until I got to the prize. I also doubt that your fabulousness wouldn't shine through even if your your were klutzing it up. Maybe he doesn't approach you for the same reasons you can't approach him?

ramblin' girl said...

Great point Yoda, I too am happy in my singleness... just sometimes let my friends talk me into believing I should be searching more.

Aarwenn said...

My blood boiled for you while reading this post. How DARE your friends do that to you! This reminded me inescapably of that scene in the movie of Bridget Jones' Diary when there's all these couples seated at a table, and there's even A COUPLE at an END of the table...and then at the other end there's Bridget all by herself, like they tried as hard as they could to make her feel as single as possible. I wanted to shoot all those people. I don't want to shoot your friends, because they're your friends, but they deserve harsh treatment. Would you have time to hang out with TheDog and go on gorgeous hikes and work your ass off and be the amazing woman that you are, if you WEREN'T single?

Jen said...

Glitter already said what I was going to say, about how it always seems that you meet the best prospects when you aren't "looking."

Also, I can't imagine your fabulousness not shining through, as it shines through even in your writing.

j2 said...

don't let your friends make you doubt yourself.

love unsought is the best love anyway.

take your time, your significant other right now is LIFE!

Yoda said...

Gosh, Daisy...thanks!

RG, I'm totally in agreement with Jen. You're an amazing writer, and the things you write give us a glimpse of just how astonishing you must be in person.


Elizabeth said...

Fabulousness is like sunshine when you are trying to take a Sunday nap. Some of it shines through no matter how tightly you close the blinds. Don't worry about it.

I've had a fairly recent revelation. As long as I'm single, I get to meet tons of fabulous men. Sometimes I get to kiss them, too! When I find the "One" that window will close and I will miss it...after all, one always misses what one doesn't have. Instead, for as long as I can, I will simply cherish and enjoy each of the special moments that come along. And they do. And they will continue to, as long as I let them.

Callie said...


You just never know when you're gonna meet someone.

I teach spin classes and was asked to be in a bike race by one of my participants. The day of the race, I pull up and don't recognize a soul on the team. But I see this cute guy pulling out a hot red road bike from his truck and go over to make a comment. He says he's training for the same tri I am... we talk more... we decide to train a bit together... soon we are "training buddies", swapping stories, laughing and crying on runs together... no filters.

A few months later we decide to take it to the next level.

We're getting married in August.

For months I wondered if he would ever see me wearing something other than padded bike shorts or swimming goggles! But you know, we were both doing something that we enjoyed and it really brought us together. In fact, we are still training buddies!

So my advice? Don't change a thing. You'll meet someone with common interests, common schedule, etc. AND the best part is being friends first, where you don't have to apply the "date-filter". WAY more fun!

ramblin' girl said...

you are all so right... thanks!

Jerk of All Trades said...

You're single?
Nuh uh!

I don't have any single buddys who are worthy of you, so I can't help you out.