brief snapshots in time. memories and thoughts. disorganized and random.

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

inconceivable

So, I picked a good time to start telling my tales again. I'd pretty much written off the last guy I dated. Realized he was never going to let me know what had happened. Never let me know why things ended.

About a month ago an absolute tragedy befell two of my good friends, and in my coming to grips with their loss, I tried to make sense of my own recent losses. One being a friendship that wasn't what I thought it was. And one being him. And since I still had no closure, I tried again to contact him, I called, sent an email. But of course no response, just like the half dozen other times I'd tried over the last few months.

But I needed to know he was alright. So I emailed the only friend of his that I really knew. And tonight his friend replied. Tonight his friend told me that the ex is indeed fine. Over his illness and back with a vengeance, I believe were his words.

And I'm left feeling devastated all over again. Back to feeling that I meant so little to him that he could just fade out of my life. Ignoring my requests to know how he was doing. Back to wondering how anyone can do that to someone they dated for nearly a year and a half.

I guess if nothing else, I've learned in the last month that people do inconceivable things to each other. It matters not if you're a stranger, friend, or girlfriend. People treat each other terribly in their own self-serving interests. I know, not all people, but far too many that I trusted lately.

Monday, February 01, 2010

so many stories... so little time...

A lot of things have happened since last I posted. A lot having to do with the last post. Unfortunately, I think some of you saw what I couldn't. What I didn't want to believe could happen. And perhaps I'll fill in the stories, but not now. It will have to be another time.

Tonight I just had to tell a short tale. A short tale of love. Standing on the slopes on Friday, my first ski day of the season, I fell in love again.

I have been working way too much. And despite my big hopes for a bright, fantastic new year, 2010 had begun horribly. Mix that with no snow and many deadlines, and I'd successfully cocooned myself in my office and hidden from the world.

But a friend convinced me a ski trip was in order, and I took the day off to start it off right.

And there staring off into the distance at the snow-covered peaks, snowy trees and untouched powder glistening in the sun under a blue bird sky, I fell in love, again. With my mountains and skiing. So appreciative of the state I live in and my true friends.

So, I'm making no promises, but I think I'm back. Months of sadness and misery tempered by time spent with a good friend, a few good days on the slopes, a few apr├Ęs ski afternoons, a few tasty dinners, and perhaps a few too many late night drinks and dancing.

It's time to start living and telling the good tales again. I'm ready for them.