getting dirty

tonight was incredible. it was even better than I remembered. and it had been way too long.

I hadn't physically been able to since the accident. I'd been talking about trying for a while, but the timing was never right. I was worried it might be painful or that I might have forgotten my technique.

I decided tonight was the night I'd give it a try again. hope there wasn't too much pain, and that I still knew what I was doing.

turns out it's a little like riding a bike. swing one leg on over, press a foot down, make sure it's centered and get to it.

that's what I've missed. the power of being able to make it respond with only my hands. the way it felt between my fingers. even between my toes. getting dirty.

I pressed and lifted and shaped it into whatever form I felt like. it was a slave to my desire.

he commented that I was grinning just letting it glide beneath my hands. I was. that feeling of it turning and turning and sliding by. I hadn't realized until that moment how important it had been to me before.

but now I realized.

and I discovered the pain was not too severe.

and I hadn't forgotten my technique.

comments were even made at how well things turned out given it was my first time back in so long.

it wasn't until I was finished that I considered what he might think. I was satisfied with the outcome. although he may want something more symmetrical.

part of the reason for getting back into it now was to display his masterpieces. part of the reason was purely for my satisfaction. well, if he's disappointed, then his suspected overly-perfectionistic tendencies are confirmed.

and either way, I'm not doing it for him, really.

(really, despite this "like in Ghost?" inquiry inspired telling of my first night back to pottery class.)

I'm doing it for me. and for A and her fiance. creating stands for their wedding cakes. which he just happens to be making. if he takes notice, that's merely an added bonus.

and if not, his loss. I'll keep throwing pottery anyway.

it was truly amazing to get back at the wheel, covered with clay, grinning from ear to ear, and getting really dirty.