brief snapshots in time. memories and thoughts. disorganized and random.

Friday, June 17, 2005

altered

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers
to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting,
or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are this year's {2005} winners:


1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund,
which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly

3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that
stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately,
shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

4. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself
for the purpose of getting laid.

5. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders
the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

6. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit
and the person who doesn't get it.

8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

9. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these
really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes
and it's like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through
the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter
when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just
after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into
your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding
half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the literature:

18. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an a$$hole.

5 comments:

Jeremy said...

I will submit this one for next year:

Reintardation: Getting what you deserve in the next life.


:-)

28goingon40 said...

So hilarious - thanks for sharing.

GlitterGlamGirl05 said...

I love, love, love #18!

Leah said...

holy heck those are great, I just did the Arachnoleptic fit this morning. I felt awkward and weird since it was in front of the building where all the windows and workerbees live/work.

Yoda said...

I submit the following:

Dishabilly: dressed scantily, like Daisy Duke

Lachrymorse: The regret one feels after making someone cry

Malapropose: "accidentally" exposing one's breast for papparazzi.

~Kurt