brief snapshots in time. memories and thoughts. disorganized and random.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

a different shade of green

my friend called me this afternoon at work.

do you have time to grab a glass of wine tonight?

me: (thinking, no, I have hours of work to do tonight) I need one, now.

what time can you get there?

me: (thinking, now!) right after work.

we used to work together, now she's a mom of two beautiful kids. I so miss working with her. we used to escape some mornings to the coffee shop across the street for a little sip (of freedom). I miss going to the ceramics studio with her to throw (our work frustrations at the wheel). it's not nearly as fun without a friend to gossip with.

I love how friends can have perfect timing, and how it's usually completely unintentional.

tonight, we both needed a break. she'd had as rough a day with her little ones as I'd had a week at work. it had been a while since we'd relaxed and chatted without one of her little ones around to distract us, or a work interruption.

so, a glass of wine turned into two, and cheese fondue and salad... then a little protein added in for good measure... of course some chocolate fondue... and cappuccino.

we talked about kids, dogs, families and friends, a currently non-existent love life, first birthday parties, run-ins with exes, and a disastrous job.

listening to her stories of her kids makes me wonder if I'm really missing out on something. so many of my friends now have kids. I find myself wondering if there's something profound I'm missing out on by holding out for my one. but then nights like tonight, enjoying an extraordinary meal with a good friend makes me realize that we all wonder if we're missing out on something.

I may be a little jealous of her family. she may be a little jealous of my continuing career. but neither is jealous of the horror stories we've shared tonight. I am definitely not jealous of the temper tantrums or tears. she is definitely not jealous of my marathon work weekend and sad pathetic dating stories.

perhaps over a fondue pot, set aflame to roast marshmallows, we both realized having wine and cheese (and chocolate) with a friend, venting and laughing helps us to simply appreciate everything we do have in our lives; that the grass may not really be greener, but rather just a different shade of green.

feeling more relaxed, but a bit over-stuffed and somewhat guilty, for escaping her kids for so long, for putting my work off, we started for the door. we promised to get together and relax and chat again before it was as absolutely necessary as it was tonight.


Rainypete said...

I think it's way too easy to be unhappy with what we have. What's much harder is to take pride in what we have done and accomplished. Be happy with what you have because if you spend life wishing for something else you can totally miss out on what you have.

As my Mom used to tell me "Don't waste today worrying about tomorrow, as tomorrow will be here soon enough"

GlitterGlamGirl05 said...

Sometimes there's no better thing than catching up with friends and spending QT with them. We all need them - no matter how crazy men or other people drive us - knowing they will alway be there and that they never judge us can't get any better than that.

28goingon40 said...

Sounds like a perfect, well deserved evening.
It nice how your friends can remind you of what you want out of life, what you may be missing and how great your life already is all at the same time. I cherish my friends that are at different places in their lives than me - I learn SO much from them every single time we talk.

Leah said...

You couldn't have said it any better. <3bloglove to you

They Call Me Lizzurd said...

I just had an evening like that myself last night. Very relaxing.

Aarwenn said...

Aren't those wonderful evenings? And you put it beautifully: Just a different shade of green.

And on a side note, were you by any chance at the Melting Pot? They have an excellent happy hour!

ramblin' girl said...

aarwenn- you guessed it, I'd actually never been before, and unfortunately we missed happy hour.

Shananigans said...

I've heard wonderful things about the melting pot. "A different shade of green" - I like that. Friends are the greatest blessings in life. Makes you grateful for what you've got.

Aarwenn said...

The happy hour is AWESOME. Otherwise, it's a little expensive. Go at Happy Hour, and at most locations they have TWO happy hours, one evening and one late night. 7 days a week. (I used to work there.) :)

j2 said...

i'm with you. and yes, the grass is just a different shade, not "greener"...that's a very important thing to know, some people will never realize this.

j2 said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Callie said...

When my old job shut down their Vancouver office, there was a small group of ladies that I used to visit during my morning "rounds". I knew I would miss them terribly, and decided to invite them over for a potluck a few months after the shutdown. We had never hung out outside of the workplace. I'm happy to say 2 years later, we still see each other regularly! In fact, one is playing the wedding march for Jason and I, and the other is taking our wedding photos. I love the way that we've all grown, and how much we have in common considering our ages range from 26-43. So very cool.

Now there are babies and husbands and married sons and daughters... we have so many things to learn from each other.

After my last breakup - very brutal - I was able to lean on them for support. Such an amazing gift, girlfriends are. I cherish mine!

JAX said...

Hi Ramblin Girl,

I know this is an old post but I really appreciated it. I just started a blog but more from the married perspective and looking back to the single days. Like I said in my blog The Grass is Greener, I agree with you that there are pros and cons to being single vs married.

I love my kids but they definitely change your life entirely so I am glad to read you are living and loving life as a single independant woman! YOU GO GIRL!!! Sometimes I miss those days and I am so glad I made the most of my single life as well!!!

Anyway, I just came across your blog and it's funny how much we have in common. I have started drafts in my blog about many of the topics you have already covered although i have to compliment your writing style. It's much nicer than mine.