Sometimes I find myself contemplating things. Sometimes this contemplation takes place at very inappropriate times. Sometimes in the middle of a family gathering.
There's a path that's expected of me. Of a person my age. Particularly a female my age.
We're to be married and having kids.
This expectation is ridiculous sometimes. I have friends who think I should just have the kids on my own if indeed I want them. And I do want to have kids. Definitely.
But I want to have a family, not just the kids.
And sometimes hanging out with my brother and his so-called perfect family, I want to scream. I think maybe the not having kids is a good thing for me.
I think more than the kids, I really want the guy. Until last night, I thought there was a chance I might have found him.
Last night ensured the path that everyone thinks I should be on is out of my reach. And watching my brother, made me realize that maybe that's alright.