I will

will I wait a lonely lifetime? if you want me to, I will.

I love that song*. a guy put it on a cd he made me once. I knew then he didn't love me. and wouldn't when we were apart. but the idea of someone waiting for me forever. loving me forever. that stuck.

when Paul played it last night, just he and his guitar, a tear snuck out of my eye. luckily the eye away from my mom and sister who had gone with me to the concert. I secretly wondered if I will ever find that guy. the one that will love me forever.

they both have. and deep down, I know I will. but every once in a while I question the timing of it. I don't know if I'm up to waiting a lifetime.

but the hopeless romantic always wins out over the cynic. and those songs that some would call sappy, always leave me knowing I'll find it one day. and I am willing to wait for it.

besides, what better role models than my family? my grandmother was engaged when she met the love of her life, my grandfather. my mom met my dad through his roommate, the guy she was dating at the time. my sister met her husband through an aquaintance neither talks to anymore.

dancing next to my mom and sister last night, I was hit with a little epiphany. I just have to have faith that it will happen. and stop worrying about the how and when. perhaps take some steps toward meeting new people, and get J off my back about the bet.

my mom, sister and Paul helped convince me last night to go for it. stop worrying about what others think and be open to possibilities. I will. at least I'll try.

* I Will, by the Beatles