brief snapshots in time. memories and thoughts. disorganized and random.

Monday, November 14, 2005

a birthday smile

as I was walking out of the deposition today. I looked up and saw the sign. no, not a figuritive sign, a literal one.

it was the restaurant I took him to start off his birthday surprise the first year we were dating. it was one of his favorites.

today is the day. his birthday. I realized that this morning when I put the date on my notes. I almost wanted to call and wish him a happy one. I know I can't.

when I saw the sign, a smile crept across my face. I couldn't help it. it was one of those memories that just make you happy. we had such a great time that night.

he told me it was the best birthday he ever had. apparently his family was never big on them. mine always has been, and always will be. so I made his a big deal.

and as I walked under the sign, the smile grew wider. I knew that my desire to call him earlier today stemmed simply from wanting to wish a happy birthday to someone who used to mean the world to me.

and I do hope he had a happy birthday. although I think I got the gifts today. the gift of knowing that despite the way things ended, I have not an ounce of ill will left in me towards him. the gift of knowing that although we may have been meant to be together for a while, we were never meant to last forever.

another smile lifts the corners of my mouth just thinking about it.

7 comments:

steelcowboy said...

Words of wisdom here, I'm thinkin'...

Tanya Kristine said...

nice to have no feelings of animosity towards someone of great importance.

It means you really have moved on.

How's your puppy today? i haven't heard you speak of her lately...

Wordnerd said...

I agree with you -- it may be his birthday, but you definitely got the gift.

Shananigans said...

That’s so wonderful that you’re free of any resentment, and that you can see things in a different light now. I believe that in forgiving others we give the greatest gift to ourselves.

PS: Belated congrats on your new niece!

Jeremy said...

Good to see you smile.

Rebecca said...

Time heals old wounds, doesns't it.... :) You were the one to receive the gift, by far.

Jerk of All Trades said...

Wow, all that from the "Jesus Saves" sign?

Ha!!
I SLAY me!
Damn I'm funny!

Um....you've gotta live here to get that.