some people like their friends ala carte. they have their work friends and their outdoorsy friends and their party friends. and they don't overlap much.
I like to mix my friends up in a big soup consisting of all different types of friends. sure I have friends who like to do specific things more than others, but my work friends know my outdoorsy friends who know my party friends who know my family etc.
when I have friends over I invite them all. some add the spice to the soup, some are its base, but the mixture is always different and interesting. everyone always thinks I have such intriguing friends.
some people don't do this. they have low-key birthday parties for their kids and invite only their other parent friends over. they have crazy parties, and only invite their crazy partying friends over. and sure, they have their inner circle which overlaps each group, but most of their friends serve their specific purpose.
apparently my part of the meal with these friends is the outdoorsy and concert course. I am always invited along on rafting and camping trips and to see concerts, but they'll non-challantly thrown in mention of the kid or crazy parties when we're together, and I feel a little slighted.
sure I may not want to join them for the mayhem of 2-year-olds running around at a birthday party or their crazy friends drinking and doing back-room-only activities until the sun rises, but perhaps they should either extend the invitation to all and let them decide for themselves, or not mention it in front of those they exclude.
I know some of my work friends will never come to my house for a laid back afternoon bbq, and some of my party friends will never go camping with me, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't invite them or make them feel welcome.
last night I went to see Keb Mo with my mom and a few friends. my mom was worried my friends wouldn't want her there. I told her I didn't care if they wanted her there. she was the one that suggested going to see him, and I wanted to go with her.
most of my friends love my parents. they're fun and non-judgmental, and they usually leave my parties early enough so that they miss the craziness.
at this venue, you can spread out blankets on the grass, bring in your wine and have a picnic. so when we got to the show I got a space large enough for all of us. some friends knowing my mom was coming found their own space and came over to chat, but then retreated to their own blanket. some were hesitant, as they didn't know what dynamic there would be with my mom there.
maybe I'm naive, but I don't understand that. sure, maybe don't bring up the crazy details of my barely existent love life in front of her, but otherwise, it's not a big deal.
my mom is a great concert date. she appreciates the music, and enjoys sipping wine in the middle of a botanic garden over friendly conversation. she always buys her own ticket and sometimes mine if I'm not that into a particular show. and she knows about my friends' lives. they tell her, I tell her.
perhaps I should make more specific soups in the future. only throw in the ingredients I know work together. but I love all my friends, I love my family and I love spending time with all of them.
so I'll continue mixing up my crazy concoctions. let those who prefer the parts of their lives not to touch to initiate the exclusive outings. I love that my different friends and family sometimes become friends with each other. I have amazing friends, I want to share them with my other amazing friends, I don't feel the need to keep them to myself.