brief snapshots in time. memories and thoughts. disorganized and random.

Friday, July 29, 2005

timing of changes

after sitting with a few other friends under the stars enjoying a humorous animated film starring a few ogres a donkey and a cat*, my friend S and I got to chatting about life, timing and changes.

somehow we both got past the age of 30 with only our houses and careers to show for it. well, that is, in the "life milestone" idea of what's important.

neither of us have a serious boyfriend. both of us have had some serious health problems recently. and despite all of that, or because of it, we both like our lives just the way they are, well, usually.

I had finally gotten over to a friends' house earlier that evening to meet her 10-month old daughter for the first time. (I'm a terrible friend.) she was planning to spend some quality time with her nephews soon. we were considering a road trip to visit several other friends and their new family additions.

we got to talking the amount of time that we spend celebrating and helping with others' milestone events. showers and weddings and engagement parties and bachelorette craziness.

we wonder if there's really something we're missing? it's not as if our friends' had kids young, and most of them didn't get married until at least a few years after college. yet neither of us feels like we are ready to get hitched or have kids just yet.

sure, we'd both like to find a nice, fun guy to hang out with. but neither of us is ready to give up hoping to find the guy to laugh and play with and love for a lifetime just to find anywho to marry and have some kids.

sure, someday I want all that with the right person. (I won't speak for S, here.) even maybe someday somewhat soon. but I'm happy with my life the way it is. I love my weeks being a whirlwind of activities. some of them are centered around others, but all are things I choose to do.

I am happiest celebrating with my friends, whether it be their new baby or my promotion at work. and those rare times when I do wonder what if? or get a little envious of their lives I think back to conversations I've had with friends who've done the milestone thing. the ones that remind me that the grass is simply a different shade of green.

maybe it's just not time for the milestone things right now for S or me. maybe it will be someday, maybe it won't. but it's nice to know I'm not the only one that sometimes questions the timing of life changes.

* yep, Shrek 2 - us single girls sure know how to get wild and crazy on a Thursday night!


Jen said...

That's cool that you can be content with the way things are. But of course you know, as soon as you are content with being single and enjoying it is when The One will find you!

kt said...

I am totally in the same place.. and I feel it with every wedding and birth announcement.. i've always been impatient, so it's hard for me to know that i haven't achieved certain milestones, but when i really think about it, i'm pretty happy and i try not to let it bother me.. plus i think, hey, i still have all this stuff to look forward to!

Jeremy said...

Shrek 2 on a thursday night... you are practically married with kids already!

Shrek uno and dos are both classics at my house, and the soundtrack isn't bad either.

And now for my favorite line...

"Man Shrek, you need to warn me when you crack one off like that, my mouth was open and everything."

GlitterGlamGirl05 said...

Nothing wrong with Shrek!!! I'm still learning to love being single but so far so good.

Tanya Kristine said...

It's true. It seems relationships are very difficult and rarely do you find the right one who simply makes you feel great. and vice-versa. I'm struggling with what is "right"? My guy is awesome yet am I in love? Or maybe i'm destined to be single and worry about my own problems and self.

i know no...

but i did read that book by Fulgham. The kindergarten one. What a sweet and simple writer. Why can't i write like that...?

Fizzy said...

Hiya just popping by to say hello

Shananigans said...

Ah, the different shade of green. I just called in my very first "Happy Wedding Anniversary" to some friends. Still kind of weird that they are married and bought a condo, but they're so happy and I'm happy for them. In my case, no rush. No one should feel pressure to achieve these “milestones” by a certain age, or at all for that matter. Each of us has a path that’s right for us, the fun and rewards in life come from exploring and following that individual path. Isn’t it great that in this day and age a woman has a choice about these things? Refreshing.