brief snapshots in time. memories and thoughts. disorganized and random.

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

reclaiming summer

this summer was going to be different. it was going to be better. it’s been long enough. I no longer think about it every day.

but the reminders are everywhere. the colleague who innocently asks how it’s feeling. the friends camping that jump to help me lift something heavy. my 90 year-old grandma offering to help me sweep the floor.

I have a short routine of strengthening exercises I do every morning and every evening. they must be done, or it gets worse. if I skip a day, I pay. I don’t skip any days.

I put a pain patch on every day. it’s just part of my morning routine. I don’t even think about it being there. until it’s not. I didn’t have enough with me this weekend. I was acutely aware of not wearing it.

I’m tired of the annoying reminders. the ambulance bill that got sent to the wrong address, now it’s in collections. the next to zero balance in my savings account, depleted by medical bills. the simple tasks I still am unable to do.

signing up for the triathlon was my way of defeating the pain.

pain, you aren’t here. watch this. I can ride, I can swim, I can run.

but can I?

the second injection made it a little better. and sure I’ve been training some. but the distances have been short on the run and the bike. and what if I fall? what if I injure it more?

no, NO! no what ifs.

I can do it. I will do it.

even if it’s slow. even if I have to walk some of the run.

I will finish.

I will reclaim summer.

14 comments:

Jeremy said...

Simply put, you are an amazing women. Knowing a little bit about what it takes to finish a triathlon I can honestly say, it would be incredible to watch you cross the finish line.
Reclaim your summer.
Reclaim your body.
Reclaim your spirit.

Sine Pari

Callie said...

Sounds like you are in the right mindset, complete over compete. You will do great!

Start with a positive outcome. The night before a race, I always envision myself crossing the finish line with a smile. That vision carries me through most races... well that and the thought of a nice plate of natchos and a cold beer after!

"Life is full of setbacks. Success is determined by how you handle setbacks."

Here is a great desktop from Lululemon that has this quote... I had it on my screen when I screwed up my knee.

Good luck, and take care!

Elizabeth said...

Such strength, such resolve. You GO GIRL!!!

Sherri said...

That's awesome. I had a really bad car accident back in 91 and tore up my back. I couldn't even walk fully upright. It took 6 months of physical therapy and about 2 more years of healing to get to "normal" again.

You can get there. It just takes determination and it seems like you have plenty of it!

GlitterGlamGirl05 said...

You know we will all be here cheering you on!

The World Against Me said...

RG, you go girl... You will finish and you will be able to do it. And like Glitter said, we will all be here cheering you on

Valerie said...

YAY!!!! I'm rooting for you!!!! You can do it!

Yoda said...

RG,

You rock! When's the race? I'll be sending strengthening thoughts in your direction!

On Monday, I was listening to a radio discussion of Lance Armstrong's bid to win the Tour for a seventh time. The guest commented that almost all of the competitors in cycling are survivors of some sort of major-league trauma, and that Lance's story isn't all that uncommon. That makes it no less extraordinary...it's just that the hallmark of those who are really at the top of the game is some sort of survival.

So you're not alone...and you can do this!

~Kurt

Brian Lavery said...

That is very inspiring. Thank you for writing that post.

Brian Lavery

Shananigans said...

You have such an awesome attitude and you're very brave. Sending good vibes your way.

Jen said...

Glad to see you have such a positive outlook even in the face of adversity. I am rooting for you!

Rob said...

Sorry, I never comment. I read. I’m a fan. You rock. Don’t give up. I always wish I had the right words but never do… So, now I open my mouth and comment and prove it.

ramblin' girl said...

thanks everyone, truly!

liz said...

It takes time!

My husband had cervical fusion surgery one year and two months ago --- and it's taken all that time for him to just be able to hike two miles --- and it was HUGE DEAL when he did that.

Just take it all one day at a time.

Which triathlon?