brief snapshots in time. memories and thoughts. disorganized and random.

Friday, July 08, 2005

is it wrong?

I got another text from 24* yesterday. he wants to see me again this weekend.

he's been persistent lately. he's fun and intelligent and nice. but something just feels wrong.

maybe I was born too late... or too early.

I have amazing friends most are near my age, but some are years younger, and years older than I am. so I know I'm not one to discriminate based on age, or am I?

lately, the guys that are extremely interested in dating me all seem to be younger than me, some by nearly a decade.

five years ago it was the exact opposite. the guys that wanted to date me were all 5 or more years older.

when did all the single guys around my age fall off the face of the planet?

don't get me wrong, I enjoy spending time with the young ones and the older ones, but I also would like to maybe have a significant long term relationship with someone looking for the same sometime soon.

sure, a guy of any age can be fun, interesting, caring, smart, funny and capable of commitment. but do I want to pursue something with someone who's in a much different stage of life than I am? and is he/does he/would he?

* nickname from one or more of the following:
a) his age
b) the amount of hours spent together on our first "date"
c) the number of times he told me I was beautiful in our first meeting


kt said...

24 is young, but it isn't THAT young..

i say go for it if you like him!

Jeremy said...

As long as his nickname is 24 and not "Pampers" he isn't too young.

Elizabeth said...

Personally, I'll go 10 years either way...but you are right, getting close to the edge of that boundary has its own complications. Sounds like the only 24 at issue is the age. No wonder the date lasted 24 hours if he commented on your beauty 24 times. :-) I'm a sucker for that stuff, too.

Yoda said...

So it's true: women DO count the number of times you tell them they're beautiful.

(I've long suspected that to be the case.)

It's easy to judge what "stage of life" someone is in by their age, but much harder to really know where they're coming from.

How mature is he? Is he likely to offer you High Drama in return for letting your guard down? If not, then I say "Go for it."

My best friend is married to a woman ten years older than he is...and has been for 17 years. She is his mentor, and unquestionably the major reason he is still alive (he's been sober 15 years now). He takes care of her, and makes her laugh and feel beautiful. If they were ever at different stages of life, they aren't any more.


Valerie said...

Last year when I was 28, I was dating a 21 year old. To his credit, he was VERY mature for being only 21. But really, it didn't work out. At first, it's the best. You got this cute kid telling you how beautiful you are, so on and so on, but in the long run, telling me I'm beautiful every hour is just not going to cut it. I'm nostalic. I LOVE/LOVED the 80's and I talk about them alot. It's really hard to talk to someone who can't enjoy reminising on your childhood with. And being with someone who doesn't know Fraggel Rock???? PAH-LEEEZZZZE!!!!! ;)

IMHO, he's too young to be in a long term committed relationship. Guys need to spread their wings until they are at least 30. Like I said, that's just what I think. Good luck on whatever you decide.

Julie said...

It depends entirely on what you're hoping to get out of it. If you're looking for your life partner, it may take him a while to evolve into the person he's going to end up being. I was engaged at 23. Thank GOD we didn't go through with it because I'm totally not the same person now. I think Buffy the Vampire Slayer (yes, I know, I'm a geek) had the best analogy ever: He's cookie dough. He's not done baking yet.

BUT! If you're looking for enjoyable company for a while, why not?

kt said...

btw - si's brother is 23 and just married his 38 year old japanese teacher. not that we're thrilled about it (for many other reasons than her age), but i guess it's a testiment to age not mattering.

GlitterGlamGirl05 said...

Ditto for me! I would just be repeating what Julie and Valerie said. Have fun at least!

LaLaLa said...

Hmmm...interesting. I'm currently hanging out (I have issues w/the word "dating") with this guy who is 10 years older than me (i'm 28). And it hasn't been an issue - I think it's b/c we're so similar. Do what feels right. WHat does your gut tell you?