brief snapshots in time. memories and thoughts. disorganized and random.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

in crowd

a comment on someone else's blog today reminded me of high school.

someone called out another commenter on trying to get in with the "in crowd."


there's an in crowd in the blogosphere? apparently I'm just as oblivious to the in crowd now as I was back in high school.

one day in high school I was talking to someone in my class, when one of their friends said something similar to that comment. something about me trying to worm my way in with the "in crowd."

um, huh?

if you asked me what "group" I was in, I couldn't tell you. I was friends with a number of people. some from class, some from yearbook, some from swimming or basketball or soccer. I probably couldn't even tell you what group any of them were in.

maybe I was naive or maybe just oblivious.

many of the girls I'd been "best friends" with growing up began to think that having the right clothes and car (which I certainly did not) was all that was required to be cool. and by their new standards, I was not cool, so they stopped hanging out with me.

I started hanging out more with some of the guys in my class and some of the more laid back girls. they were nice, funny, sincere and maybe a little not-normal. they didn't care that my clothes were sometimes hand-me-downs from my brothers or that I had to plug my car in every night to charge the battery just to make it to school and back. they were great friends, and still are.

at our ten-year reunion, many from the "in crowd" were still talking about others and calling others out. the other 90 percent of our class (and the few from that group that had grown up and realized there was life past high school) had a great time sharing the adventures of our lives with each other.

I have never understood why some people think that they are better than others and think they need to put others down. maybe that's why I have never been and never will be part of the "in crowd," and that's just fine by me.

I'll take funny, nice, sincere and a little not-normal over "in" any day.


Jerk of All Trades said...

You in the "in" crowd, it's just a different "in" crowd. You're keepin' it REAL homegirl. Can you dig it? I knew that you could.

Rainypete said...

I've never been a fan of being with the in crowd. I used to confuse the hell out of people in high school who'd say "Hey, you're cool!" I shout back at them "You take that back dammit!"

Jeremy said...

I was one of those insecure fellows who started high school wanting to be part of the in-crowd... never happened. I was a jock... but I was also labeled a brain, and my friends Big T, Stevie, and Ryan were all the crowd I ever needed.

Elizabeth said...

Great post! My boys had a discussion about this subject at the dinner table. I live in a wealthy suburb of Cincinnati, but we are most definitely the poor kids on the block. And we are far from poor. Both of my teenagers have a vast circle of friends, found draped over every piece of furniture I own on frequent Fridays and Saturdays. Their circles are very different and only intersect on occasion, but they all get along.

No one that comes to my house is in the "in crowd". But IMHO, are most definitely the "cool" kids. :-)

Big B said...

So funny, your comment about HS reunions. The pretentiousness of the IN crowd is pathetic isn't it. My 10 year was comical and the 20 was more so (dating myself), seeing how the IN crowd's ego's matched up with their, umm, intersting life choices since they left their nadir of high school. Geez.

Rebecca said...

I was the same way in high school. I had friends from all different groups and while I wasn't considered a part of the "in crowd" I'm not sure that anyone could peg what crowd I belonged to.

I skipped my 10-year reunion because I couldn't imagine spending all that money to see people I didn't like or that didn't like me 10 years ago. Know what? I don't regret it at all. My friends now (local and blogger)and the ones that have been with me for years are all that I need.

Yoda said...


Yeah, right on. Great post.

I used to jokingly refer to the my gang of friends at school as "The Island of Misfit Toys." We were decidedly not cool: I was 6'2" and 135 pounds on a heavy day. My friends included a guy with a hair lip and half-inch-thick glasses, a 370 pound "Jesus freak", and a 400 pound hockey fanatic. We played Dungeons & Dragons before that involved owning a hundred hard-cover books containing other people's imaginations.

We were hopeless, and we revelled in it.

Who needed the "in crowd"?


GlitterGlamGirl05 said...

I with you RG, I was never in the "in crowd"

Callie said...

I, too, skipped my 10yr reunion this year because I couldn't be bothered to reunite with people I couldn't relate to. That's not to say they treated me so horribly or anything, I just never felt like "me" until I left that small town and got a little exposure to the world...

I have one girlfriend that I kept in touch with, she will be at my wedding with her two kids and hubby. She still lives in our hometown, hasn't travelled or gone to post-HS schooling. Right now our lives are SO different.

But I know we both came from the same place, with the same values and belief system. It's kinda neat to see how two people who used to seem so alike have followed such drastically different life paths.

I think later in life, our paths will mesh again.

kt said...

oh wait.. you're not in the "in crowd". i don't think i want to read your blog anymore..

lol! =)

Jax said...

Ha ha, KT's comment is funny. Hi RG, I came across your blog a few weeks ago and I put it in my favorites because I can really relate to a lot of what you say. This one seems to be very popular.

I went to my HS reunion (in '92) only to see a few faces that I missed but unfortunately, nobody I wanted to see was there and I guess I still keep in touch with the ones that were my true friends (which is like only one person). Most of my friends back then didn't go to my HS. I liked hanging out with older kids, my BF was 5 years older than me and I mostly hung out with him and his friends which was more fun anyway.

But I saw the same stuff going on my reunion, the girls all getting so drunk they couldn't even walk and still doing the little whisper thing to let you know that they are talking about you... stupid and I'm so glad I'm mature enough know to realize how dumb that is and how it doesn't define me.

Sad that some never grow up but maybe reunions bring out the worst in people? I have no idea.