brief snapshots in time. memories and thoughts. disorganized and random.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

so, what do you do?

it inevitably comes up in conversation when you first meet someone.

my friend A and I had gone to a show. (if you're into music and want the details, they're at the end of the post.) between the opener and the headliner, A and I were talking to a couple of guys. and after we'd been talking for a little while, one of them asked the unavoidable question...

so, what do you do?

I replied with something about working for an engineering consulting firm. and as the The Look immediately crossed their faces, A quickly interjected, oh, we just answer the phones and stuff, we aren't engineers. after this the four of us continued talking for a while...

the outspoken one was obnoxious, and the cuter one was ridiculously shy. outspoken and obnoxious wouldn't let cute and shy get a word in, so there was little chance there, but their reaction to my answer reminded me of so many similar introductions.

so, the question is, why do I almost always get The Look when I tell a guy I've just met that I'm an engineer?

I've actually had guys I'd been talking to for a while, conversation flowing along nicely, question gets asked, they find I'm an enginerd, and then literally turn around and walk off!

I can think of a few reasons for The Look and other not-so-great receptions to my chosen career path:

a) perhaps it's the stereotypical engineer thing, and guys don't want to hang out with someone they assume to be a socially inept nerd?
b) or perhaps it's that guys are afraid a woman engineer might be smarter than they are?
c) or that since the woman engineer is actually out on the town, exhibiting not-so-inept social skills, embracing life's fabulousness, that she might be too much for some guys to handle?

I have a feeling that all of the above are true for different guys.

in light of that, I've been considering changing my career.

no, not actually finding a new job, I actually like mine for the most part.

a new job, one that's a bit whacky, simply to tell guys in jest when I first meet them.

it would be something obviously not true, but would let the conversation continue to the point that we can find out if there may be common interests, etc.

maybe let the guy figure out that I'm not socially inept before he finds out I am an engineer. then if b) or c) is true, well, that will still become apparent, and if it continues to bother said guy, I can do the walking away.

so, imaginary internet friends, what should my new career path be?

a) professional pillow fluffer
b) mime
c) ostrich trainer
d) underwater glass blower
e) cranium question creator
f) trapeze artist
g) blogger
h) any other great ideas??

maybe I'll just rotate them...

or maybe telling them I'm an enginerd up front is a good test of whether a guy is comfortable around smart, sassy women... and that's a good start.

[music details]
headliner: Glen Phillips, who played with a band for most of the show. and although he's amazing when it's just him and his guitar, it was even more amazing and a bit nostalgic to see him play with accompaniment for many of the old Toad songs!

opener: Blue Merle, who, although I enjoy their music, really need to work on their stage presence.


Jen said...

I would keep telling them up front. If they can't handle it then it is probably better that you find out right away.

Rebecca said...

I agree with Jen. Why waste your time with someone who isn't man enough to think you rock?

GlitterGlamGirl05 said...

Yep, I agree with Rebecca and Jen - if they can't deal with it they are just losers. Actually I think they might feel threatened, they could be making no $ and think I don't deserve someone like her. Who knows the male psyche? Obviously I don't. LOL.

srini said...

i guess its pure ego issues. stereotypically men would expect to be one-up over women. and when that stereotype gets shattered (by you) - they are taken aback.

but i dont think you should hold that reaction of theirs to ransom - what matters is how they interact with you after that. if they slowly slip away, you know that you saved yourself :)

Shananigans said...

I do think it's better to know right off the bat if a guy is too insecure to handle your obvious fabulousness, but I'm curious what reaction you would get from ostrich trainer.