brief snapshots in time. memories and thoughts. disorganized and random.

Saturday, May 07, 2005

little reminders...

I feel some irrational need to apologize to all my imaginary internet friends that don't read this blog anyway for the rant that follows, some days can just be that way....
* imaginary internet friend (iif)- great phrase I originally thought I came up with myself, but in actuality may have "borrowed" from an iif who is absolutely hilarious... she just walks around with it... hope she doesn't mind
so, back the the story... there I was, just innocently walking my dog when you drove by... well, maybe it wasn't you, but it sure looked like your car, same color, same roof-rack, but I guess I've been wrong, what... maybe once before?

I mean, what could possibly bring you to my neighborhood? you don't live anywhere near me, my house is not even in the same city as your job... maybe you're just checking to see if I'm alive? how kind, how considerate... ok, that can't possibly be your reason.

well, maybe it is... I guess I wondered for a few days if you were alive... afterall, we had a great time for well over a year before you just disappeared... I thought, of course, you must be stuck somewhere without a phone... otherwise there's no way someone so sincere and honest as you could possibly be so inconsiderate as to not even call me back... maybe you were abducted by little green men, or marooned on a desert island, or maybe just hiding out in the basement... but none of those are the case, are they? did you just decide that I didn't deserve to know why?

so if that was you driving by, did you think a little reminder was necessary?

are you concerned that I might be missing you, might be over you, might have forgotten all about you?

well, missing you? not a chance after you bailed so abruptly, no explanation, not even the li(n)e "it's me, not you."

forgotten about you? well, I was almost there...

but then the random little reminder of the drive by... the best part of this little reminder is that I know I am much better off without you. did you know that despite the whacky things I started to believe when I was with you, there are actually guys out there that aren't worried I might bail if I meet their friends, guys that are sincere, tell the truth, and that I don't have to make excuses for.

so little reminder, I'd like to say thank you, that was actually a very good thing you helped me realize... I truly don't care about you anymore and I don't care about the why... and I'll forget soon...

wait, I'm sorry, what was your name again?

5 comments:

Aarwenn said...

One of the most brilliant things I have ever seen written:

"...not even the li(n)e "it's me, not you."

li(n)e. Brilliant. May I use it?

Aarwenn said...

On another note altogether, that guy sounds totally psycho and socially inept. What kind of person does that?

Shananigans said...

Insecure guys that bail are sooo not worth it. You're better off now and seem to be in good "head space". Yaaay you!

LaLaLa said...

I just had one of those experiences the other day. This loser who made me feel like complete crap all the time and that was not the worse thing about the situation. The worse thing was that I let him! And seeing him triggered all those crappy feelings and I know I never have to feel that again!

"...li(n)e "it's me, not you." - I agree with Aarwenn - Brilliant!

ramblin' girl said...

indeed... what kind of person does do that?