I hadn't seen S in almost a month, since we were in Texas. Which is ridiculous, as she lives two blocks away. She's busy when I'm not. I'm busy when she's not.
She stopped by to take TheDog for a walk with me. We walked and talked and laughed. It felt great to laugh. Really laugh.
We talked about her health, and how it had kept her from joining us on the river trip and how her summer had become a little less free. Doctor's orders.
She asked about TheBoy. She assured me that I was better off without him. That I would find someone who makes me happy and whom I make happy.
We talked about whether either of us believed that, or would life continue to throw us both curve balls, testing our strength.
We've both been a little tired lately. Tired of having to be strong. Tired of working through the tough times. Tired of having surprises happen, the not-so-good kind.
She's perhaps more independent than I am. She's fine without having a guy around. I am, too, to some degree. I don't need to have a man by my side, but I do want one. A great one.
And I can't believe that's going to happen right now. I think my usual realism has turned a bit pessimistic lately.
But as S insisted, that needs to change. I need to have fun this summer. Not bury myself in my work as I am known to do. Not hide out on hiking trails with TheDog. Or at the coffee shop with a book.