robbed

I can't sleep, yet that's all I want to do. I feel robbed. Not only of my camera, but of my freedom. I haven't been missing The(ex)Boy too much recently. But now, now I do. I wouldn't mind having someone around who would notice if I disappeared.

But instead of someone to feel safe with, I am left to try and make my house more secure. Keep people out. Try to make myself less afraid. Alone.

The police officer suggested the camera thief might be someone I know. Or someone someone I know knows.

That disgusts me even more. Could someone I know have walked crawled into my house and taken the one item they knew would cut my last shred of happiness?

My mother suggested The(ex)Boy. My sister suggested NowEx. I can't believe either would ever even contemplate such a thing.

But then again, I'm still naive enough to not fully comprehend how someone could do this at all. Much less to someone they know.

I know I'm supposedly lucky. Lucky that nothing else happened. But it doesn't feel that way right now. Right now all I feel is scared. I'm "armed" as I never wanted to be. And even so, I'm too afraid to even fall asleep.