brief snapshots in time. memories and thoughts. disorganized and random.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

letdown

On my long drive back to reality I had some time to kill. My dad's large vehicle was only needed for it's cargo capacity. Not really for any humans, besides me to drive it.

So I did as most people do when they spend over a day's work-time driving. Solo. I sang out loud. Very loud. And I pondered. Life. Things.

The last night of our trip my friend's cousin asked me why my friend was being so rude to me. But only when another friend was around. I shrugged it off, but it gave me something to think about.

He's a great friend. Or so I thought. We had had a little issue a few years back. We almost dated, but it didn't work out. And I thought we were completely past any weirdness. Back to just being great friends.

But his childish behavior towards me told a different story. It's obvious he's interested in the other friend. Which doesn't bother me one bit. But it's as if he thinks making fun of me, and being rude to me will impress her.

I have no idea what she thought. If she even took time between her giggles to notice. I just know that I found his rudeness to be sad.

I had trusted him. Trusted our friendship completely. This was all before the issues. And he had made me question my trust in him. In the years that have passed, our friendship has remained and he has earned back my trust.

But his inability to consistently be a friend to me has made me realize that my friendship to him is fine with him. When it's convenient. When he can use my extra baseball tickets. When I can borrow a bigger car to haul all the boats.

But when I asked him to stick around for 5 extra minutes when we dropped the boats off to vouch for the defective equipment I was rented, he couldn't be bothered.

I must say I learned a few valuable things over the course of the trip.

That I really can get along with just about anyone. Even eccentric old men and always-on seven year-olds. Even stuck with them on a river for five days.

That you should always check gear out extremely carefully before depending on it to get you down a river. Or really any sort of gear you depend on to get you somewhere or keep you safe.

And maybe most importantly, that even though you give someone a second chance. Learn to trust them again. It's no one's fault but your own when they repeat past behavior and easily discard your friendship when it's inconvenient.

The ending of the river trip made me sad, but the ending of my trust in a friend and my belief that he deserved a second chance was the biggest letdown.

4 comments:

green said...

despite all the crap with your "friend", it sounds like you had a cool time on your trip.

The pics are excellent.

Amy said...

That is so hard, isn't it? To realize when a friendship is one-sided, or at least isn't what you thought it was any longer? It's good that you had time to think it over and to come to a realization about it. At least now you can make a more informed decision about how you will feel about him.

Sounds like a fantastic trip, however, and great photos!

Glitter said...

This,

"And maybe most importantly, that even though you give someone a second chance. Learn to trust them again. It's no one's fault but your own when they repeat past behavior and easily discard your friendship when it's inconvenient"

Means more to me than you will ever know....Sigh...

Jen said...

I think I remember this "friend" from before when he let you down the last time. I can't believe he has gone back that way again.

Gorgeous photos, by the way.