brief snapshots in time. memories and thoughts. disorganized and random.

Sunday, December 18, 2005

I'll have a blue Christmas...

apparently I'm gullible.

I believe that people are good. I believe they say what they mean. I believe people don't intentionally hurt others. I believe that friendships last.

yes, I have even always been one of those sappy people that believes in the spirit of the holiday season. that it brings out the best in people. I'm beginning to think that may be the furthest thing from the truth.

maybe I shouldn't believe these things. maybe I'm a terrible judge of character.

some people are not good. some people lie, often. some people will intentionally hurt others if it's easier. some people use than discard friends like old newspapers.

I believed in a friend. I trusted. completely. I never imagined that opening up, believing, could rip open such a hole.

I feel naive. foolish. gullible. and very far removed from my normal happy holiday self.

5 comments:

Jeremy said...

Some people are not good. You are not one of those people.
Some people will intentionally hurt others. I have never heard you say (or read) anything deliberately mean about anyone, although I know you have had many an opportunity.

Without sounding like some self affirmation workshop info-mercial, you are what people talk about when they say there is still good left in the world.

I am glad I found your blog and had the wonderful pleasure of making your acquaintance.

Elizabeth said...

Big hugs, RG. It will pass. You will find your holiday spirit...you still have six days. And next time, you'll know better.

It's the person, not the rest of the world. Don't forget that.

jeopardygirl said...

I doubt that you're a terrible judge of character. I think you probably only look for the best in people and don't expect to find only the worst. Or maybe I'm projecting my own feelings onto you. Either way, I hope that this wasn't too devastating and that your Christmas spirit will arrive just in time (like Spiderman). :D

Rachwell said...

I understand how you feel. It's not the strangers or aquaintances that do the most damage but those you are close to. I am dealing with the same thing, a friend who once was very close to me and has chosen to no longer be a friend.

Kate said...

Sometimes its best to just cut your losses....as hard as that may be.