last night I walked into a bar. and met someone for the first time. we grabbed a quick drink then went to see the Decemberists. great show. the band was hysterical. a fun night joining my new blogging-to-real-life friend kt.
the night before I went to a cold college football game. leaves falling slowly, reminders of fall. and the night before that, the Warren Miller movie. the precursor to my ski season. every year. this year an added bonus, a benefit for hurricane victims.
last week the girls showed up on my doorstep with pumpkins, appetizers and dessert. we drank wine and carved. the result was pretty impressive (if I may so boldly brag about my friends' mad carving skills).
before that I went to see a little musical about an orphan with my mom. another reminder how lucky I am to have the family that I do.
the weekend before I caught up with an out of town friend before a Broncos game. spent quality family time celebrating my niece's birthday. and had a fun night out with the girls that ended in being "picked up" by a couple.
despite all the fun, excitement and general "life is grand" moments I've experienced lately, one small piece of news yesterday left me feeling like the world is a bit upside down. even tonight when I kissed a boy goodnight before I headed home, something bothered me deep down.
it's down to me. I'm the only one left. nearly every friend I have, even those younger, are either shacked-up, engaged or married. and my brother. the player. well, he got engaged yesterday. I'm extremely happy for them. she's incredible and they're great together.
but as he told me the news yesterday a little hole inside grew a tiny bit larger. I know some of you that read this will think I'm sad. I'm not sure that's what I am. I know some of my friends will strongly suggest I do something about it. I'm not sure I really want to right now.
I love my life. the way it is. my friends and family. my more-than-friends. my dog. even most days, my job.
but I have to admit some days, like yesterday, I do feel like a little something is missing. a little gnawing hole that isn't filled in. something needing to become complete.
is life really incomplete if you don't have someone special to share it with for the long run? I don't know the answer. I sometimes state (with a bit too much bravado) that I do know the answer. that of course I don't need someone to make me complete.
perhaps that's it. I don't need someone, but I think I may want someone. I don't think I want to take this entire journey alone. parts of it, sure. but parts of life are made for two. like halloween costumes. all of the costume store workers assumed I had another half. that I needed a couple's costume.
no it's just me. but the costume will be good. and hopefully funny.