The rain streaked the window as we awaited our turn. The drops had started falling sometime after being dropped off, yet before walking the line to the plane. It was almost as if the tears I felt but could not yet cry were falling from the sky.
The sadness set in as I settled into my seat, knowing there was no one looking forward to my return. Leaving the warmth of my college roommate's kitchen and family. Leaving good friends I wish lived sloser. Finishing up my long-anticipated trip.
I know I have great friends here. But no one quite gets me like she does. Staying up for hours just talking. She said she wished she'd planned something more exciting for my visit. But just hanging out with her was exactly what I needed.
Don't get me wrong, we certainly didn't just sit around. We had coffee in the snow-covered park by the river*, and a lovely lunch at a cozy cafe. We admired the fishies at the aquarium with her husband and kids. We enjoyed great food, even some I actually helped cook. Not to mention a bit of time spent playing with her kids.
They even got a sitter so that we could all go to dinner, two of my best college friends and their husbands, and me, the fifth wheel. Sharing stories and cocktails. P being the only one that didn't go to college with us, but joining in the conversation, just as if he had. I felt glaringly odd-wheeled only in my own mind, since it was a trip originally concocted by the boy, to be taken together.
That was the second leg of the visit. The first part started with wine and cheese on a lovely afternoon in Brooklyn. Waking up to a bit of snow. And deciding, some of my see-the-city plans would have to wait for another visit. Which was all-together fine with me.
Before we left Brooklyn and the City behind and headed north on the train, M & P took me to eat at fantastic restaurants. We indulged in many wonderful glasses of wine and perhaps a few too many strawberry-infused vodka drinks. P was patient with my slow progress through the photography exhibits at the Met. And of course we talked about everything.
An amazing, low-key visit. Just what I needed.
I even began and finished Eat, Pray, Love on the trip. An interesting read, particularly given the timing. The story added to my melancholy as I sat on the plane waiting to go home. It reminded me of all I do have. And of all I don't.
My life is full of so many amazing things. Friends, family, TheDog, traveling, hobbies, even my job, but I realize that I'm still not quite there. That place I want to be.
I know that some of my married friends are a little envious of my freedom, just as I am a little envious of their knowledge of who their next traveling companion will definitely be. It all sounds a bit familiar.
It was truly a wonderful trip. I love visiting with my friends. I just hope the sadness I felt as I sat on the plane heading home didn't permeate my mood while I was there. Because being there was just what I needed. My relaxing trip really did make me happy.
* I do have a few photos to share, despite the predominant gray while I was there. I just haven't had time to download them.