brief snapshots in time. memories and thoughts. disorganized and random.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

lingering effect

Just as we were finishing up our margaritas, as I was finishing up my story of how the last one ended, my phone beeped. I ignored it, assuming it was just my brother again.

But then he got up to use the facilities, and I checked it. Fully prepared for a smart-ass remark back to my brother.

The name that came up made my breath catch a little.

Sitting there with my friend telling the story of him, I'd realized it was the first I'd thought of him in a while. And when the story came up the familiar heartache wasn't present.

But seeing his name changed that. Seeing his witty text I suddenly felt a bit small. Insignificant.

My friend and I said our goodbyes. And although I was supposed to meet other friends out, I wasn't that sad when no one answered my calls.

The questions started creeping in. As much as I tried to force them out. Mostly why? Why does he still have this effect on me?

4 comments:

Jen said...

Maybe the question shouldn't be why he has that effect on you, but instead why is he texting you?

He had his chance and he blew it.

Glitter said...

I agree with Jen.

Elizabeth said...

I get that same heartache every time I hear from Magic Guy...who occupied my heart through all of 2004 and into 2005, who still claims more than his fair share of heart space within me. He left a comment a week ago, and his voice haunts me still, even as new love blossoms in my life.

The ghosts of boyfriends past remind us how capable we are of loving.

But that's all they are good for.

Betty

deweyintoronto said...

Word. It's too soon to try to be "friends", and there's no earthly reason why you should be interested in extending a friendly hand to someone who treated you with such disrespect anyway.