brief snapshots in time. memories and thoughts. disorganized and random.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

head versus heart

It's been a really long time since I fell this hard for someone. It always takes me a while before I let my guard down. I'm damaged goods. Read through the archives if you don't believe me.

We took things slow at the beginning. My friends thought it was weird, too slow. I felt comfortable with the pace, and from what he said, so did he.

Things were really great for a while. We talked about future plans. About trips we'd take together. Things we'd do. He was almost always the one suggesting the future plans.

We did fun things together. Enjoyed each other's company and conversations. Missed each other when we were apart.

Then something changed. With him. He says he doesn't know what. Well, if he doesn't know, I sure don't.

There are no more future plans discussed. A trip we had planned to take together, I'm now planning solo. I tried to include him, but he used work as an excuse for not being able to plan that far in advance.

We've talked about it. He's assured me it's not the things any girl would typically suspect when such a change occurs. He's not seeing someone else. He doesn't want to. He still likes me and wants to date me, he's just pulling back. He says he has things to figure out.

The things he did and said back then made me fall for him. The things he's doing and saying now are having the opposite effect. Just not as fast.

My head knows I should stop letting him make me feel not good enough. My heart isn't quite listening yet. Both want what we had back.

I'm not sure when the giving him time to figure things out becomes too much. When it takes me from being the understanding girlfriend to being the fool.


Glitter said...

And people wonder why Men are from Mars?? Seriously...stay true to yourself and the rest will follow.

Trish Ryan said...

AGGGHHHHHH! I want to PUNCH him!!!

The best response I've ever heard to the whole "I need time to figure things out" line was the one my Mom gave my Dad when they were dating.

"That's fine," she said. "No problem at all."

"Really?" replied Dad, incredulous. "I can take all the space I need and we'll be okay?"

"Oh no," said Mom. "We'll be through. But you're welcome to take that option if you want it."

Dad smarted up PDQ.

On the flip side, this didn't work out quite the same the times I tried it. But it saved me from that awful hanging on hoping against hope feeling.

Jeremy said...

I don't know what to say other than I am sorry.

VJ said...

Yeah the Trish strategy does not have a high success rate. About half will be glad to disappear back into the woodwork, for whatever reasons we might suppose. I also imagine that there's an age grade to the proposition too. Way back when it was a bit more of a threat in those pre-internet days. Not so much now. Cheers & Good Luck, 'VJ'

Jen said...

Why do men have to be that way? Ugh. If he can't recognize how wonderful you are and how lucky he is to have you, he really doesn't deserve you. Not that it makes things any easier or anything. So sorry you have to go through this.