It's been a really long time since I fell this hard for someone. It always takes me a while before I let my guard down. I'm damaged goods. Read through the archives if you don't believe me.
We took things slow at the beginning. My friends thought it was weird, too slow. I felt comfortable with the pace, and from what he said, so did he.
Things were really great for a while. We talked about future plans. About trips we'd take together. Things we'd do. He was almost always the one suggesting the future plans.
We did fun things together. Enjoyed each other's company and conversations. Missed each other when we were apart.
Then something changed. With him. He says he doesn't know what. Well, if he doesn't know, I sure don't.
There are no more future plans discussed. A trip we had planned to take together, I'm now planning solo. I tried to include him, but he used work as an excuse for not being able to plan that far in advance.
We've talked about it. He's assured me it's not the things any girl would typically suspect when such a change occurs. He's not seeing someone else. He doesn't want to. He still likes me and wants to date me, he's just pulling back. He says he has things to figure out.
The things he did and said back then made me fall for him. The things he's doing and saying now are having the opposite effect. Just not as fast.
My head knows I should stop letting him make me feel not good enough. My heart isn't quite listening yet. Both want what we had back.
I'm not sure when the giving him time to figure things out becomes too much. When it takes me from being the understanding girlfriend to being the fool.