brief snapshots in time. memories and thoughts. disorganized and random.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

friendly truth

just when you think things are going well, the curveball gets thrown.

it had been a good week. two dates already, and a third for that night. that's when I saw the missed call. right around the time the SUV was trying to make me lunch.

seriously? a year and a half since his last call?

when the topic was brought up around my friends over the weekend, they all, emphatically insisted I should not, under any circumstances, call him back.

I hadn't planned on it. but it was interesting to hear that none of my friends liked him when we were together. particularly since that's not what they told me at the time.

I asked my friends to please tell me in the future if they think I'm dating a loser. they said that's hard to do. these are my good friends. surely we're close enough that they can say something tactful like, I'm not sure he's the best person for you.

maybe not. maybe it is something everyone has to learn for themselves. maybe sometimes it is impossible to tell a friend the truth.

regardless, it's made me question the guys I've met lately. their sincerity. their flakiness. whether one may be a good fit for me. maybe in some strange way, I actually needed this curveball.


Amy said...

that's a good point. Sometimes it's so hard to see when we're in the situation. After my divorce (when my ex came out of the closet) my sister didn't act at all surprised. She said she "suspected it all along" I said WHAT?!?! Why didn't anyone say anything to me?!? I was thinking for years but thought I was nuts! I guess it's hard to do. I'd rather have the honesty, I guess.

Taking what we learn from the past and using it to enlighten our future is a good plan, though. At least it looks good on paper!!

Julie said...

Hmph. I wonder if my bluntness makes me a bad friend? Because I'm ALWAYS the one pointing out stuff to my friends like "So, he TOTALLY stood you up for your SECOND date, and THEN showed up an HOUR late for your third, and you want to give him ANOTHER chance? Honey, I gotta' tell you, men DO NOT grow a sense of common courtesy in their 30s. Move ON!"

Jeremy said...

I will seldom tell another bro that the current object of his affection is anything less than wonderful - mainly because guys tend to get upset at that kind of thing and it seems easier to just let it run it's nasty little course until he figures it out for himself.

I can, however, (and with relative ease I might add) tell a "friend that is a girl" that her current beau is a doofuss. I know if a dude is a turdbag, and the last thing I want to happen is for one of my friends to be treated like anything less than than they deserve.

I have used my allotment of "dude" and "bro" for the year now, so I need to stop commenting.

If you ever wonder, and want an honest opinion... you know where to come.