brief snapshots in time. memories and thoughts. disorganized and random.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

it's not you, it's me

He's not going. But it has not a thing to do with me. It's because the opportunity wasn't great for his career. Staying will be better for him. And of course, his dog.

Alright then. At least I got a glimpse of where I stand without having to actually push the issue.

Not that I'm giving up. I'm not. But it's good to know. And I'm just researching things, afterall.


Jen said...

Good to know, sure, but probably pretty crappy to find out when you didn't know.

Still, guys are notorious for acting as though they don't care when they actually really do. Sometimes they want you to be the one to say something.

It reminds me of this- only a few months after I met and started dating Andy when we were in Wichita, Kansas, he got a job opportunity to work at Kennedy Space Center. He was almost afraid to tell me. We hadn't known each other very long and he didn't expect me to pick up and move with him. I don't remember what exactly was said, I know there was some tearful conversation. But we ended up moving to Florida (or back to Florida for me, I am a native) with all my dogs- three at the time- each of us not knowing if we were doing the right thing. Sometimes you have to take a leap of faith, I guess.

Yoda said...

Summer of 2000, I was dating a woman who got a job offer in Boston. We'd been dating...practically living together...for 9 months, and she told me matter-of-factly, "I've accepted a job in Boston and I leave in a month." I was hurt. She thought I should be excited for her. All I wanted was to be thought of when the offer was put on the table, when the possibility of an offer appeared on the horizon. I wanted an opportunity to say, "I don't want you to go." What I got was, "It's a done deal. Will you help me pack?"

RG, this way is infinitely better, with him staying for reasons that have nothing to do with you. Staying for the sake of the dog sounds like an excuse. He couldn't take the dog with him? He couldn't leave his dog with you? With family? With friends? Find his dog a good home with people he doesn't know? It sounds as though maybe he doesn't want to go for reasons he's not ready to articulate.


Glitter/Aleka said...

Sheeh, talk about a rock and a hard place. You either have to take a leap of faith and or talk to him. Talking is the hard part, taking the leap is hard too.

hubs said...

if you don't ask up front you'll never find out up front.