brief snapshots in time. memories and thoughts. disorganized and random.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

stop it please

I honestly cannot believe that those may very well be the last three words I ever hear from him.

A guy who I thought might be my one. A guy with whom I spent some of the best months I can remember. A guy who told me he'd always talk to me.

A guy who is apparently a complete coward.

It's been three days since he wrote those words after I called and he was shorter than short with me. Annoyed with me for asking him if he was alright. Annoyed with me for being disappointed he had to cancel our silly plans on the silly red heart day.

Perhaps he was annoyed with me for other things. Perhaps he had been hoping his jerk-like ways lately would get me to break up with him. I may never know.

Half of me wants to insist he explain. The other half doesn't even care anymore. Half of me incredulously checks to see if he's finally called or texted. The other half of me doesn't know if or how I'll respond even if he does.

All of me knows I deserve someone who wants to be with me. And all of me spent the weekend with family, great friends, good food, tasty beverages, and perhaps a few other interesting diversions.


VJ said...

Sorry RG, that sounds especially like a slow sort of misery. It's the silly red heart day that can get any guy in trouble, but yours was heading that way already. And it's not that it's at all difficult.

The entire world gears up for V-day. Other than Mother's day I think it's the number one for flower sales. So the stores are just flooded with them. ALL the stores. Going into my local Publix & Kroger about a week before hand I nabbed about 4 'living flowers' & pots, of all varieties, none costing more than $10, some as little as $2 something (for dwarf roses). So the wife, who was due to be away for the 15th & 16th, got her flowers early. They fill her office, and still cost less than the standard jacked up bouquet of 10-12 'Red roses' on the day. And of course they're still living, and will be for far longer than the cut varieties.

None are the standard red, because the way they've been bred is just atrocious. None of them actually Smell like roses anymore. What's the point of that eh? They barely last a week either.

Me, I got some books, one of which was on economics, the other on politics. Our night out consisted of visiting the newest non chain pizza bar on our end of town. On karaoke night, (unbeknown to us). It was so loud. we could barely hear any conversation. That's OK, we just sat & enjoyed the meal and read our papers. So yeah, we're the ones reading the WSJ & the FT while you sing your heart out honey. Total bill for the meal? With the beers included, Under $25, and we had 1/2 of the meal as left overs. Total spent on my end of V-day was probably south of $45.

I don't care who you are or what you're doing, if you can't afford to show up, or make an effort at moderately pleasant communication on 'that special day' for your special lady? The least you can do is drop ~$5 and get some flowers by way of recognition. One way or another might keep you from the dog house.

It's not like this is all rocket science or that we've got so many hard core Marxists or 'anti-consumer' syndicalist socialists who are protesting the concept of spending either. It's just a matter of recognition & some tender regard and kind words for a friend. It could cost even less, but it's the small effort that's required that's the bug. For some clowns it's just too much to ask that they even think that much about you when you're not in front of them, or when they don't ask or require your presence.

Yes, it's always depressing to hear, even if only 2nd hand. Move on, your friends, family and certainly the dog are all better and more reliable company.

Cheers & Good Luck! 'VJ'

Elizabeth said...

RG, dang.

The freeze out, the poof, is truly the worst and most cowardly way for any human being to handle the fear of intimacy. I think there should be a law against it, a tribunal of members of the opposite sex who objectively stand in judgement of people who willingly and perhaps intentionally cause emotional distress in matters of the heart. There aught to be a law.

If there can't be a law, there aught to be a required course in junior high, high school and college. Everyone should have to earn a minor in managing heartache. Think how much easier life would be if people were TAUGHT the right and wrong way to end a relationship.

I have no message of hope, other than the sad assurance that we've all been there. My story might have a different ending, I'm still not sure. We are both taking a couple days while he is out of town to think things through. But, at least he's talking, and I'm talking. When the talking stops, it sure makes it hard for it to be anything other than over.

Oh, and thanks again for getting me started on my own blog post for the day. :-)

Sending you warm wishes of caffinated healing.

Glitter said...

you have no excuses for how you feel about the boy or how you feel about the situation so just take the time you need to be you. Take things one day at a time.

His loss...


Stacey Peterson said...

This guy is just not good enough for you. I know that sucks, but you give more and deserve more, and it'll be his loss in the end.


SDW said...

I must concur with all of the above comments.

Unfortunately, I've been on the giving end of the freeze-out... a couple of times, actually. Thankfully, I think I've outgrown it, as it's a cowardly, weak way to do things.

Shame on him. A pox on his restaurant!

hubs said...

reread all these comments! they're great! you have some smart people reading this blog!

Meg said...

I'm sorry! You clearly deserve better.

Anonymous said...

At least he said please.

Jen said...

Sorry, RG. I think it was inevitable, though, from the way things had been going lately. You have had reservations about him from the very beginning, apparently for good reason. Congratulations on being able to walk away and hold your head up high. You won't be played as a fool. You absolutely deserve to be with someone that wants to be with you and that will put you first. Stay strong.