I know I've said it a thousand times, but I love my friends. Some of them must be somewhat psychic. They somehow know to call, e-mail, IM or text me just when I need it most. A quick check-in to see how I'm doing.
With some I know to answer that I'm getting by. With some I can be honest and tell them flat out that I'm actually feeling rather crappy.
The ones I can be honest with are the ones who don't tell me to just get over it. They don't question my vodka intake on Saturday night. They understand if I ask him what happened, or if I decide not to acknowledge him ever again, whichever I decide I need to do*. They don't tell me I must meet guys out or get my profile back online immediately. They understand my need to feel sad for a little while.
All of my friends tell me I deserve better, and of course, they're all right.
Everyone just has their own way of dealing with getting over someone. Mine is not to simply turn it off. I like to think about it, at least for a little while. Try and commit to memory both the great and not-so-great things about the relationship. Mostly so I can do my best to not repeat the not-so-great next time.
I'm heading to New York in a few short hours, with my new camera as my traveling companion. To see great friends. Great friends who will let me either talk about it or just forget, whichever suits me at the time.
* He texted tonight and said he was sorry, he can't give me what I want and deserve. Who is he to think he knows what I want? As far as deserve? I definitely deserve better, at the very least someone who tells me to my face that it isn't working for him. When he figures it out, not after a nearly a week of silence. Meaning the sorry at least a little bit. Feeling terrible that he treated another human being so poorly, much less someone he used to care about deeply.