brief snapshots in time. memories and thoughts. disorganized and random.

Monday, September 10, 2007

realizations

I've been thinking a bit lately about whether or not how I meet a guy plays a part in how the relationship will go. And decided a little examination is required before I have my answer. (Yes, I am a geek.)

I'll start from the beginning, or from when I can remember. Mentioning only those that left a significant impression, taught me a little something, or I dated for a while. It may paint me a little bit trollop. And it may bore you all to tears (consider that your fair warning).

HSBoy1 and I got set up by a friend. He took me on one date. In his green Gremlin. It was a terrible, have nothing in common date. Only significant because it was my first date.

HSBoy2 and I were inseparable one summer. Until I found out he was dating someone else. Yes, I am naive. But I was 16.

HSBoy3 and I were friends for forever before we went out. We had one amazing date our senior year. But both were too chicken to take it much past the friends point. And that's what we remained.

CollegeBoy1 and I met at a party. We went out twice. He spread very untrue rumors. That was the end.

CollegeBoy2 and I were set up by friends. He was an idiot. Even so, I went out with him twice, giving him the benefit of the doubt. I learned first impressions can be misleading, but second impressions usually aren't.

CollegeBoy3 and I met at a party. The initial flirtation was fun. We went out twice. He was the biggest ass I have ever met. I learned to trust my gut instinct a little more.

CollegeBoy4 and I were friends for a long time. We went out once. We flirted unabashedly, but nothing ever became of it. Probably a good thing.

GSBoy1 and I met in class. Always good friends. Brief periods of flirtations never amounting to anything.

GSBoy2 and I met through mutual friends. It was a long flirtation. Ending in only a kiss or twenty before he left town. Disappointing.

BarBoy1 and I literally ran into each other at a bar. There was a little bit of flirtation initially, but nothing became of it. We stayed friends for a long time. Although his on-again, off-again girlfriend was sure there was more there, there never was. For that I am glad. I ran into him over the weekend when he told me how much he missed my friendship. I don't, he was actually a terrible friend.

GSBoy3 and I met in class. Always good friends. A brief period of more-than-friends. And back to just good friends. Showing me that just because something should make sense, it doesn't always.

RandomBoy1 and I met through mutual friends. We dated for a few months. I hadn't made up my mind on whether we made any sense, when he broke up with me to get engaged to another girl two weeks later. They broke up. He wanted me back. Ha.

BarBoy2 and I met, well, at a bar, when a friend insisted I join her out. We caught each other's eye across the room. Cheesy, but true. We dated for over a year. But there was not enough in common to hold it together for longer. He told me last week I was the best girlfriend and friend he ever had. He was my best boyfriend, yet.

RandomBoy2 and I were set up by my sister and her friend. It was another terrible, have nothing in common date. Apparently some lessons take being taught twice.

RandomBoy3 and I were friends for a long time. Then more. Then friends. Then more. Then not-quite friends. Perhaps my most regrettable foray into a relationship.

BarBoy3 (aka NowEx) and I met at a beer festival. Close enough to a bar. We had mutual friends in common who assured me he was a great guy. We dated for a year and a half. We had a lot of fun together. But no deep connection. He, too, ended up being an ass.

RandomBoy4 and I met, well, randomly. There have been periods of flirtation. But nothing much ever became of it, besides a great friendship.

BarBoy4 (aka 24) and I had a disgustingly drunken PDA the night we met. We still see each other occasionally. He told me not too long ago I was the best friend he had and that he still thinks I'm beautiful. Sometimes just having fun is all something should be about.

RandomBoy5 and I met through mutual friends. Another very long flirtation. Ending with an entertaining week at mutual friend's wedding. And then nothing. Another ass. Should have listened to that little voice on this one.

eBoy1 and I, quite obviously, met online. We went out three times. I had the most in common with him that I have ever had with any guy I dated. He freaked out when I left town for a week, and that was the end of that.

eBoy2 (aka The(ex)Boy) and I dated for just over a year. We had a lot in common, or so it seemed. And although it was fun. And I hoped something more would develop, there just wasn't that certain something.

eBoy3 is, well, a story in progress. And we know I don't usually talk to much about those. If the story ends, I'm sure the eBoys will continue. It seems to be the only way for me to meet guys these days.

Particularly since I don't hang out in bars all that much anymore. Apparently my friends and family have absolutely no idea what I am looking for in a guy, given those set-up dates have been the worst I have ever been on. And the friends-of-friends -that weren't true set-ups weren't much better.

One thing I realized is the starting as friends thing never amounts to much for me. But mostly, I need to listen to the nagging voice telling me that there is not enough earlier than later next time.

I'm sure I should be taking away more from this list. But I'm tired. And I have you all to point things out to me, as well.


1 comment:

KennethSF said...

I'd rather go out with a random stranger than with someone my family has selected. With the stranger, there's still a chance it might work out. With someone my family picks, I just know she'll be completely wrong for me.