I feel like I'm losing it. My last shred of sanity is slipping away. I can't even hold a coherent conversation.
My poor friends. A few have made the mistake of asking how things are going, and I just start babbling. And babbling. All kinds of things spill out.
But I can't say what I want to say. How do I tell someone in e-mail that I'm scared that my grandma may not want to get better. And I'm even more scared of what that will do to my mom.
My mom, who called me her rock yesterday as she dropped me at the airport. After I left her curbside, I slipped inside the airport but didn't check in immediately. I had to wait until the sobbing subsided.
How can I be anyone's rock?
My friend who's taken the new job stopped by my office today. She asked if I was alright. I said yes. She called me on my red and swollen eyes.
I told her I've basically been crying for two weeks. Just about anything can set me off. So I try not to talk about things in front of people.
At least when I cry over my keyboard no one can see. If it weren't for the red eyes and the salty residue on my space bar, I might be able to hide my crumbling sanity.