not a single thing

I don't have any words. I don't know what to do. And I can always figure out something to say or do.

My dad called me today. In the middle of the day. He only ever does that with really great news, really bad news, or when he's really bored. Since there wasn't any good news potential, my hope was that it was boredom.

Thinking maybe he'd heard from my sister we had a small break in work hell because some people got a holiday today. Hoping he'd called just to chat since my mom's gone. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case.

He called to tell me my mom took my grandma to the ER last night.

I should fill in some details. I've left them out because I hoped if I didn't make a big deal out of it, then it wasn't one.

My grandma fell down a little over a week ago, but she insisted to all of us when we called that she was fine. Apparently, that wasn't the truth. My mom got a frantic phone call from one of my grandma's friends last week.

My mom was on the first flight. She's been helping out, taking her to the doc, for x-rays and MRIs. But she seemed to be doing worse.

When I talked to my mom last night, she had planned to swing by the ER this evening after the doctor's appointment if he thought it was a good idea, just to have an IV put in. My mom was convinced my grandma wasn't getting enough fluids.

My grandma half-fell out of bed yesterday evening, and my mom couldn't lift her back in. So she called 911, and off they went to the ER.

They got her some fluids and did some tests. They found some issues with her blood work, so they decided to keep her for a few days, to keep an eye on her. After five or so hours in the ER, they were going to take her upstairs.

That's when things went from bad to worse. My grandma apparently lost it. Screaming obscenities. (She never swears.) Telling my mom she wasn't her daughter anymore. Telling the nurses and docs to get out of her house.

So not only is my grandma in excrutiating pain, and apparently losing it mentally, if only because of the pain meds, but my mom now feels terrible. Wondering if she's doing the right thing, having her stay in the hospital.

I assured her she was. But what good does a phone call of assurance do. I want to fly down to be there for my grandma, for my mom. But I can't. I can't get out of work right now. There's absolutely no way.

I'm scared. Really scared. And I can't do a single thing about any of it.