brief snapshots in time. memories and thoughts. disorganized and random.

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

if only in my dreams

It really may be for the best. I know it in my heart of hearts. But I need to think it through. Completely. Before I do something rash. Before I do something I will ultimately regret.

I want to be that bold, brave person I know I can be. Discuss my concerns like an adult. Ask friends (and you all) for advice. But I'm not that person right now. Right now work, the boy and life in general have beaten all the brave right out of me.

I have had a horrible headache since before Thanksgiving. I can't sleep.

The work to be done is daunting. Both real work and other work. I hope for things that have no chance of happening. I want all the problems to work themselves out.

The brave adult hiding somewhere within knows that won't happen. Knows I need to face things. Figure out what I want. What I'm willing to compromise on and what I'm not.

And to some degree I have. I just don't have time to really put it into words. And I'm not sure I'm ready to.

I just wish someone could tell me if I'm making the wrong decision.


Glitter said...

If you make it with your heart, that's the only way to make it and feel good about it.

Anonymous said...

I think you just put into words what most of us only know how to feel, or think in our heads, ...this whole adult thing is such a b*^#* sometimes.