Concentration is eluding me. There is one week until the big day. The pinnacle of my last year. And I don't really care anymore. There's too much family stuff going on. More important than my job and work other than work .
I've been spending lots of time with my mom. My sister had no interest in joining us when we asked her to long ago, before she was expecting. But now she's mad. Jealous even.
I think it's simply because she doesn't feel well. At all. She doesn't like the things we've been doing, anyway. But she's being horrible to me. And to my mom.
We're both just trying to let her be frustrated. But it's not easy. And it's really not easy on my mom.
Over soup and salad tonight, my mom and I talked about her. About how tough it must be for her to be so sick. We feel badly for her, but it's tough to be there for someone that keeps pushing you away.
Then the conversation turned to Gran. It's almost been a year since she left us. Sometimes it's as if it all happened yesterday. I miss her so. We all miss her so.
Tonight after my mom headed home, I decided I needed to send a few flowers. To my sis, to help her feel better, and to thank her for TheDog-sitting while I gallivant about this weekend. And to my mom. On Saturday. Just to let her know I'm thinking about her.