it's when the questions start creeping in. is there something real there? are you just wasting his time? is he just wasting yours?
it's when you start testing each other. can you be together when there's nothing to do? when there's too much to do? and, of course, the biggest test of all? do the dogs get along?
it's when there are no definitions. you know each other, but you don't. you meet each other's friends, but not family. and you have no idea what he refers to you as to any of them.
you imagine hanging out in the future, but know there's things you dream of doing that he wouldn't. things he may dream of that you wouldn't. but it's probably too early to have the "future" talk?
some of those silly little things start to bother you. but the idea of not having him in your life may bother you more.
you start to question. you start to take for granted. you start to hope for. little things. big things. everything.
should you pay attention to the signs, the nagging feelings, the adorable guy that smiled at you as you were getting coffee?
do you listen to your friends that say he's great, real, sincere, and all the things you wished for in the last one? who tell you not to screw this one up?
or do you listen to your mom who says not to
11 comments:
I don't know, sometimes someone who doesn't seem to be the perfect man for you might turn out to be in the end. I think it is too soon to tell.
I agree w/ Jen...just take it day by day and see what happens!
friendship and spark. Nothing less is worth settling for. If you don't have a spark that makes your heart leap when you first start dating, what will you have five years from now?
I wouldn't say I'm adorable. Mildly ok lookin maybe, if the light is just right, and by "just right" I mean standing in the dark.
If it doesn't feel right.....I dunno, that's a big gut reaction thing. Tough one to call. I'd say go for the friend AND spark thing.
come on people love is something that happens to you, it's something you do!
listen to everyone, friends, signs, mom. they all have advice worth listening to. just don't let any of them tell you what to do.
i have a felling you already know the answers to all these questions you posted here.
lastly, i'm going to NOLA in a month or so, could you reccomend a good/cool hotel in the quarter.
CORRECTION: first sentance should read:
Come on people! Love isn't something that happens to you, it's something you do!
You said it yourself... the biggest test of all... Do the dogs get along?
If they are hesitant or snappy around each other - take it easy.
If they are running, playing and sharing a bone... then I think you could seemingly start to talk about future plans - how else will you know if he is someone you are going to want to go climb mountains with?
And heaven forbid, if the dogs are shagging - well you will have to play that one by ear because there just wasn't enough information in the post to allow for any safe conclusions.
Either way... I truly hope you are happy.
Listen to your friends. I once read something about how important their point of view is on reflecting how the relationship will turn out, or what direct it will take. My last relationship...didn't last and I had some unfavorable reactions that I maybe should have listened to in the beginning.
I think it's natural when you get a little older and wiser, and your heart has been broken (or at least wounded) a few times, to hold your breath and wait for the other shoe to drop. To question whether or not the conditions (not necessarily the man) are perfect. If I've learned anything, it's that there is no such thing as the perfect anything, and it's human nature to expect more.
Spark? Fuck spark! It's a fleeting moment at best. You can have spark with a big, giant asshole. But compatability? Someone who makes you laugh? Who challenges you intellectually? Who makes makes you feel good about being you? THAT's gold.
You don't have to commit to spend the rest of your life with him. Hell, you don't even have to commit to the rest of the summer with him. But before you toss that catch back into the sea, make sure you're not holding out for something that doesn't exist.
omg. I've been having this kind of day exactly, thinking about my own longtime/shorttime two-month relationship (?) myself!
Two months? Only two months and already you are feeling so intense? Give it time...take at least 6 to think about the future and if "silly little things" are already bothering you...not good, my friend...not good
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