brief snapshots in time. memories and thoughts. disorganized and random.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Valentine's Day disappointment

I was going to tell a funny story of why I don't like this day. this day where people show their affection to those they love.

it's not really because I've never had a great one. it's because of a somewhat silly event over twenty years ago. but I'm going to save that story for another time.

today I was supposed to get another round of trigger point injections in my back. it was going to be a great way to spend this day filled with hearts. I was going to the doc, then home to ice my back and drift into a pain pill induced slumber with TheDog at the foot of the bed.

after waiting at the doctor's office for 2 hours (don't get me started), she talked with me about the results of the last round of injections.

she's not happy with the results. only the muscle pain was diminished slightly. the underlying pain in the SI joint is still there. she decided against any more injections.

then she told me she didn't think there was any more that they could do for me. I should keep excercising those muscles, but not push it. I should still check back with her in a few months. and that I shouldn't get discouraged.

I'm sorry, what? you tell me you can't help me to feel any better, then tell me not to get discouraged?

I'm not much of a crier. but the tears streamed down my face on my drive home. I'm not willing to accept that this pain will always be present in my life. I can't believe she would give up.

as the tears diminished, I came up with a plan. I will call the doc I grew up going to. the one whose children my siblings and I helped put through college with all our torn ligaments and broken bones.

he'll know who I should talk to. what I should do. he's not one who gives up.

and I'll swim everyday, and double my strengthening excercises if that's what it will take.

so despite my disappointing doctor visit, today wasn't as bad as some of my previous V-days. between the Happy Valentine's Day from a cute guy, and my new found determination to prove the doc wrong, it actually turned out alright.


Elizabeth said...

You go, girl. I love your spirit. Chronic back pain is not easy to live with. No pain is easy to live with, but back pain is especially difficult.

Glad your Valentine's Day was good.

Mine, too.


Underachiever said...

I heart you Rambilina! You're gonna be just fine!

undr(Proud of you)

kt said...


so is that what the balance ball in the living room is for?

next week. 5:30 am. gym. you. me.

Anonymous said...

acupuncture...great for pain issues. Check it out.

Friend of Callies

Neal said...

A second opinion is probably a good idea.