brief snapshots in time. memories and thoughts. disorganized and random.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

if I ignore it, will it go away?

this morning I woke up long before the sun decided to peek its head above the horizon. lying there before the alarm went off, I made a decision of sorts.

I'm not going to listen anymore. not to the nagging voices in the recesses of my mind telling me to take it easy. not to my doc telling me what I shouldn't do. not to my mother telling me to be careful.

I figure my back and hip hurt whether I push myself a little or not at all. I don't sleep much whether I'm careful not to lift heavy things, or have to carry TheDog down the stairs. I can't sit for more than ten minutes whether I was at the pottery studio or just took TheDog for a slow walk to the park the day before.

so, what's the difference?

the doctors still aren't sure what's wrong. so they're trying more injections. possibly four more rounds. but those hurt. they make the entire joint and surrounding area sore at first.

in keeping with my stubbornness, today over lunch I bought new shoes. nothing entices me to head to the gym more than a new pair of shoes screaming get me dirty! I also bought new goggles. I don't care if turning my head to the side to breathe hurts my back. and I don't care if riding makes my hip sore.

no pain, no gain, right? I'm tired of letting the pain keep me from what I love. since it doesn't appear to be getting any better by taking it easy. and as long as it doesn't get worse, what's the harm?


Jen said...

Maybe what you are doing is the best thing. I went back to running/walking when my foot was still really screwed up from surgeries, but it wasn't getting better. It felt lke I was walking on a huge rock at first, but after a while, the act of walking on it flattened out the huge mass of scar tissue and it is so much better now. Maybe something like that will happen for you too. The benefits of exercise can be mysterious.

Brian Lavery said...

I've seen a lot of my tri buddies make fantastic comebacks after being told they can't train anymore.
What kind of shoes did you get?

Jeremy said...

You are one tough chiquita bonita.

Here's to hoping it doesn't get worse.

Night Flier said...

Sorry to hear your hurting. I have back and hip problems (shattered my pelvis in a car accident in '90) and the best and only thing that helped the pain go completely away...chiropractic! You have to shop around for a good chiropractor but once you find one...amazing! Good Luck! :)

Fizzy said...

You have to find what works for you, and what you can cope with and how you can cope with it.

Don't mention goggles... my daughter needs a new pair...I only bought some 3 weeks ago and they were not cheap ones.

Look after yourself

Callie said...

The person who knows what's best for you is YOU. Screw the naysayers!

Kate said...

Just be careful!

JAX said...

awww, i feel your pain. It's awful that us 30 somethings are feeling like 80 somethings. Have you gotten an MRI. That might get to the bottom of things faster.

kt said...

i think that's awesome of you - and may be just what you need! let me know if i can help!