brief snapshots in time. memories and thoughts. disorganized and random.

Monday, September 12, 2005

shame on me

another amazing mountain wedding. drinking, dancing, and talking with good friends. drinking, dancing and flirting with a cute boy.

while we were dancing we talked. he told me I was a great friend. he told me I was beautiful and amazing. he told me he loved me. he was drunk. I was certain he meant that last one in the friendly sense.

back at the hotel, in the room I was sharing with him and another guy friend, we're trying to figure out which room the after-party is in. the bride and groom were the ones in the know.

I was about to hang up the phone after a botched attempt to call their room. (got the groom's sleeping dad instead, since the newlyweds hadn't checked in yet.) my dancing friend pulled me onto one of the beds with him.

I sat back up. ignored his arm around my waist. talked with our other friend as he called the newlywed's cell to get the scoop. they were going to after-party in our room.

we waited for them to come down. one friend fading on one of the beds. my dancing friend on the other. arm still around my waist. still pulling me toward him. I gave in a little this time. rested my head on his stomach. he ran his fingers slowly through my hair.

ring ring

I sat up. it was the groom. they were hungry. did we have anything. no, then they'd be down after they found something.

one still fading on one bed. the other, his arm still around my waist. pulling me closer. kissing my neck.

ring ring

I sat up again. it was the bride. they were tired. afterall it was midnight. would we mind if they bailed. of course not. it's their wedding night.

the other fell deep asleep. we were left to our own devices. he pulled me back to him. closer. this time he kissed me. it was more amazing than I remembered... and the memory was rather amazing.

he wanted more. I wouldn't. I couldn't.

in my mind there were many reasons. his previous reaction, a sense it wasn't right. I told him I couldn't with our friend in the room. he said he understood.

then more kissing. still amazing. eventually the alcohol got the best of him and he passed out.

I got up to brush my teeth and noticed it was nearly 2. when I climbed back into bed, he was just awake enough to pull me into him. to fall asleep in his arms. enveloped by him. it felt wonderfully comfortable. like home.

eventually we all woke up. the guys were talking about the night before. the drunk one couldn't remember how we got to the hotel. did he drive? the other and I laughed. we would have walked if he'd insisted on driving.

he said he didn't remember anything after dancing. I guess the amazing kisses will once again* be only my memory.

fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.

* the last time he said he didn't remember how we got to my house. or where his car was. implying he didn't remember the rest. yes, my drunken dancing friend and OhThoseEyes are one and the same. so, what is it with people claiming to be so drunk they don't remember things? no one takes responsibility for their actions anymore...


kt said...

i think it's a ruse... i don't believe people who can't remember ANYTHING after drinking. of course, i could bt wrong - but i'll bet he a least remembers a gist of what happened. maybe you should "remind" him sometime when he's sober. =)

Jeremy said...

I think that "I don't remember anything" is a load of shite. Next time, shave him bald and draw little black dots all over his genitals...

he will do his best to remember then.

The World Against Me said...

Oh he remembers. He just don't want to admit it.

I like Jeremy's idea!

Rachwell said...

I think most of the time people use that as a cop out. I have only two or three times that I honestly don't remember. Most of it usually comes back to me a day or two later.

GlitterGlamGirl05 said...

Draw a mustache on him in permanent marker then he won't forget you or better yet draw something dirty on him so everyone can see. LOL.

ramblin' girl said...

you guys crack me up! I do like Jeremy's idea, but have no plans to be anywhere near his genitals anytime soon...

now if he does remember, but doesn't want to remember (as most of you guys think), what's up with that?

Callie said...

GRR!! That is so NOT an excuse!!! He has to remember, or at least have an inkling of what went on.

I don't know what to make of this guy. A very strange form of hard-to-get... or maybe he's just too shy normally to do anything and gets a little more bullet-proof when he's drunk. Who knows?

I mean, you could always ask, but it may turn out just like last time.

ramblin' girl said...

He is super-shy normally, but still no excuse. But I'm not worrying about it. He's had his chance(s), and he knows where to find me.

Jen said...

The alcohol is a truth serum, right? So he really does like you a lot, but for some reason his conscious self is too scared to do anythng about it. At least that is what I think.

Underachiever said...

I had an awesome comment but I don't seem to remember.

Undr("Genitals with little black dots" is a very enjoyable polka band. You should hear their rendition of the Macarena)

PS he remembers!!! Trust me.

Aarwenn said...

He's disassociating. He has two personalities: Normal Super-Shy, and Drunk Loves Ramblin' Girl.

I've noticed myself disassociating recently, especially when I go out with engineers--we all drink way too much (see today's work post) and all put on a party personality the minute we walk into a club. My memory of the evening becomes a haze, thoughts of flirtations and whispered promises and verbal contracts that mean nothing in the morning, which is why it's important to have the break-it-down talk the next day so that you find your way back to reality--but also remember you always have the option of leaving his bed while it's still dark, and preserving the night magic. There's a tall scrawny engineer around here whom I'm crushing on, and he seems to pull this, too. If he remembers or not, is it important? You've seen him at night, you've seen him in the morning. Which is the personality you like? Which one is predominant? Which one is drug-created? If you don't like your answers and you still like him, there's nothing wrong with a little night magic every so often. :)