brief snapshots in time. memories and thoughts. disorganized and random.

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

inconceivable

So, I picked a good time to start telling my tales again. I'd pretty much written off the last guy I dated. Realized he was never going to let me know what had happened. Never let me know why things ended.

About a month ago an absolute tragedy befell two of my good friends, and in my coming to grips with their loss, I tried to make sense of my own recent losses. One being a friendship that wasn't what I thought it was. And one being him. And since I still had no closure, I tried again to contact him, I called, sent an email. But of course no response, just like the half dozen other times I'd tried over the last few months.

But I needed to know he was alright. So I emailed the only friend of his that I really knew. And tonight his friend replied. Tonight his friend told me that the ex is indeed fine. Over his illness and back with a vengeance, I believe were his words.

And I'm left feeling devastated all over again. Back to feeling that I meant so little to him that he could just fade out of my life. Ignoring my requests to know how he was doing. Back to wondering how anyone can do that to someone they dated for nearly a year and a half.

I guess if nothing else, I've learned in the last month that people do inconceivable things to each other. It matters not if you're a stranger, friend, or girlfriend. People treat each other terribly in their own self-serving interests. I know, not all people, but far too many that I trusted lately.

5 comments:

Susan said...

I think people are so self-absorbed they just don't give a shit about anyone else but themselves. It's a hard lesson to learn and one I constantly get upset and angry over. I hate it.

Elizabeth said...

I've learned similar lessons, but I try very hard for those lessons not to blind me to the goodness in most everyone else. Fear is a powerful motivator, and when one cowers behind fear, to the point of extending pain to another, I simply write it off to evolution...the lack thereof in that person.

Good to hear that you've fallen in love with your mountains. Fabulous Guy lived for a decade in Denver and speaks longingly of those same mountains and how much I would enjoy them.

Maybe someday.

deweyintoronto said...

I'm sorry. I'd say I can't believe someone could behave like that, but sadly I can. I hope you find yourself at peace with what happened soon so you can dust yourself off with a smile.

Rebecca said...

I hope you are doing well....

People can be selfish and insensitive. Jennifer Aniston said it well when she declared a "sensitivity chip" was missing in her ex; the same goes for many.

At the same time, it certainly can make a decision to cut someone loose that much easier.

I hope you're happy and doing well since it's been some time since you posted last.

Be well...

chennai said...

land marvel construction reviewAssisting investors with all governmental norms, procedures andfacilitate smooth transition