It's really hard for me to get back into the habit of things. Like writing. Or heading to the gym at lunch.
I'm working on it. But my work scedule has been very inconsistent lately. Add to that the erratic and crazy pup's schedule. And you have a recipe for a very tired girl. One who feels she's not quite doing everything she needs to or wants to do.
Sure I'm busy, but it's not just that. I've had all kinds of weird work, friend and family issues lately. Everyone seems a little out of sorts. And I don't quite know what to do about it. If anything.
Not to mention the typical holiday stresses. And the projects I'm trying to finish before Christmas.
Right now I'm concentrating on getting some work finished up for tomorrow so that I can take a nice, leisurely five day weekend. One that doesn't include working. At all.
I'm not convinced it will happen It will be some kind of miracle if I can pull it off. But that's what holidays are for, right?
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!! Enjoy your time with friends and family!
Monday, November 23, 2009
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
real reason
I know I'm supposed to be able to write whatever I want to here. Vent. Get out my frustrations. But I couldn't. I wasn't supposed to. And it may have been the time I needed it the most.
With TheDog sick, worried about her every day. With work and other things as bad as they've been. I refrained from sharing my thoughts with you, with myself even, because he asked me not to.
And then he pulled the disappearing act.
I don't understand how anyone can spend over a year of their life with someone and just fade away. I know it's happened to me before, and I'm guessing it will again. But I can't comprehend just ceasing communication with no reasons no closure.
I could venture guesses as to why he did it, but the truth is I don't care. It had been difficult for a very long time.
He'd been jealous of TheDog. Upset with me for spending too much time with her, worrying about her. Even though he was with me when I had to say goodbye, I had to ask, repeatedly.
Then when the silence of no paws got too much to bear, and I adopted Puppy, he was upset at the time I spent with her.
Despite his encouraging me to adopt a pup, he didn't really want for me to. Instead of joining us for walks, or playing with us in the back yard, he had other things to do. I never seemed to be his priority, but when he wasn't mine he got upset.
It's over, and it's a good thing. Even if I don't fully understand the why.
And I'm back. Back to enjoying the things I enjoyed, back to making no apologies for sharing my thoughts with you, with anyone who might care. Back to hoping for that one, the one who really wants me to share everything with him.
With TheDog sick, worried about her every day. With work and other things as bad as they've been. I refrained from sharing my thoughts with you, with myself even, because he asked me not to.
And then he pulled the disappearing act.
I don't understand how anyone can spend over a year of their life with someone and just fade away. I know it's happened to me before, and I'm guessing it will again. But I can't comprehend just ceasing communication with no reasons no closure.
I could venture guesses as to why he did it, but the truth is I don't care. It had been difficult for a very long time.
He'd been jealous of TheDog. Upset with me for spending too much time with her, worrying about her. Even though he was with me when I had to say goodbye, I had to ask, repeatedly.
Then when the silence of no paws got too much to bear, and I adopted Puppy, he was upset at the time I spent with her.
Despite his encouraging me to adopt a pup, he didn't really want for me to. Instead of joining us for walks, or playing with us in the back yard, he had other things to do. I never seemed to be his priority, but when he wasn't mine he got upset.
It's over, and it's a good thing. Even if I don't fully understand the why.
And I'm back. Back to enjoying the things I enjoyed, back to making no apologies for sharing my thoughts with you, with anyone who might care. Back to hoping for that one, the one who really wants me to share everything with him.
Monday, November 09, 2009
friends in far-flung places
What a crazy weekend. I ditched the pup with my sister and headed back to the scene of the shenanigans.
I've been back a few times but this was a reunion. So lots of other people from my class. But, most importantly, two of my best friends.
We stayed up late talking, toured around campus, playing the "remember whens," ate at our favorite restaurants and drank a margarita or two.
Ran into people I was very happy to see and a few I could go several more decades never running into again.
Despite still being a bit hungover and ridiculously sleep-deprived, it was a fantastic trip. I am reminded of how lucky I am to have the amazing friends I have, even if some live entirely too far away.
I've been back a few times but this was a reunion. So lots of other people from my class. But, most importantly, two of my best friends.
We stayed up late talking, toured around campus, playing the "remember whens," ate at our favorite restaurants and drank a margarita or two.
Ran into people I was very happy to see and a few I could go several more decades never running into again.
Despite still being a bit hungover and ridiculously sleep-deprived, it was a fantastic trip. I am reminded of how lucky I am to have the amazing friends I have, even if some live entirely too far away.
Tuesday, November 03, 2009
Monday, November 02, 2009
only a test
Dipping my toes in the water. Just seeing if there's anyone still out there.
But I suppose it doesn't matter... I'll be telling more stories soon. Just testing out a different way to post.
But I suppose it doesn't matter... I'll be telling more stories soon. Just testing out a different way to post.
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