needing a reminder

I think part of the reason I haven't been writing is because sometimes I think writing about things jinxes them. But that's just being silly, right?

Still, I'm not ready to write about some things. But some I need to.

Despite the new guys I've met, the last one has lingered. Continuing to text and ask me to join him for coffee. With his previously insisted let's remain friends, I agreed.

I loved talking with him. Our friendship was always fun, even when the dating thing was not working so well. So I joined him for coffee. And was reminded how great it was to chat with him over a cup of steaming hot goodness.

He invited me to join him and friends at the park for a little jazz and offered to make me dinner the night after my triathlon.

I had to decline both times. I assumed they were just friendly gestures. Particularly since I never met his friends while we were dating. My friends insist offering to cook dinner is not a friendly gesture.

I have insisted it is. That's all I can do. There are other people to consider now.

So, when my curiosity about his intentions started after the last suggestion of coffee turned into maybe grabbing a beer, I decided I needed a reminder. Thankful I wrote down the aftermath of how he broke things off. Of how I let him make me feel even before that.

I'm certain in my friends only conviction now. It was his insistence months ago. Now it will be mine. He's already had a second chance, and a third, maybe even fourth.

And, as I said, there are others.