brief snapshots in time. memories and thoughts. disorganized and random.

Monday, December 07, 2009

bend an ear

I'm trying to figure something out. I'm good at figuring things out. That's what I do. Even my bosses recognize it, and they don't seem to recognize many things I do well.

But that's work. That's not relationships. Those, I'm not very good at figuring out. Maybe the problem is that I try to figure them out. Maybe I need to stop thinking so much. But I can't. It's who I am.

So, there's this guy. And every time I get a chance to talk to him I like him a little bit more. And if I had to guess, I'd say he might like me, too. But I don't get to see him very often.

He's a friend of a group of my friends. And therein lies the problem(s). My friends. Well, one in particular. She seems to attempt to sabotage my relationships, and try to keep others from happening.

She meddled in my last relationship. May have caused the beginning of the end. And she appears to be trying to do the same with this guy. Even though there's nothing yet to meddle in. She started acting oddly toward him as soon as she found out I liked him.

She's a good friend. When I called her on the last situation, she said she was doing it for me. And I can actually see how she may construe it that way. That is why we remain good friends. But this time it seemed malicious almost. I can't even bring myself to talk to her about it. To talk to her at all, yet. I'm seething.

And worse than the feeling I have of betrayal from my friend, I still like the guy. And can't figure out what if anything to do about the whole thing.

I need guidance, but since my usual suspects to go to for advice are too closely involved in the situation, I have no one to really talk to about the whole thing. And that makes me the most sad of all.